I had forgot of a word "Smeared" you brought it back,Of course men are always blaming women, But not me not today, you have a lot going on in this poem. Good write.
Very typical, poor structure and reading does not flow brilliantly. That being said, the metaphysical ideas discussed are insightful and I'd highly advise repeating this as a longer poem in the style of Donne or another Metaphysical poet
Whilst short, its meaning is deep and its immediate accessibility to all not as 'sudden' as the immediate ability to satisfy our whims as you suggest.
However, I do not need obvious to keep me happy. A degree of obscurity can often leave me more satisfied as it makes me want to read and read a piece again and again (as I have just done with yours) to see what you mean or if I cannot discover your meaning, find my own within it.
At times I write like this. My writing seems able to be read, but there are levels to it which all can access, others only some can access and because it is so personal the rest only I can access.
In the end you are just talking to one person at a time. If I keep on saying this to everyone I review, I may end up doing something I hate which is to repeat myself. I like to stay fresh in my own thinking! That with a smile at myself.
I find the first two lines so easy to interpret and applicable to my own life:
"You hardly need a second to satisfy a sudden whim,
To inflame our future, its outline is smeared and dim,"
Acting on the spot is so easy though it my have consequences we do not imagine at the time.
My take.
Second two lines? I ponder:
Time bends over deep silence and, snaking to you near,
"C'est la vie" I whisper so faintly to your heart’s hidden ear."
Is it that in the end, quick action on a whim leaves us plenty of time to consider its impact and then conclude, "Well that's life."
The sort of notion as in: 'Marry in haste, repent at leisure."
I know the feeling.
It really doesn't matter what you mean. Yes it does in a way. But everyone will leave the reading of it with a reaction.
The art of a writer is to make us all think and leave an intimate conversation between writer and reader with their own interpretation.
You have just had mine.
Thank you for making me think. 'Cogito ergo sum' as they say: 'I think therefore I am'.
With my encouragement and thanks for sharing as well as my kindest regards
Such a nice review,I enjoy reading it with a smile on my face...Because you wonder what I mean,but .. read moreSuch a nice review,I enjoy reading it with a smile on my face...Because you wonder what I mean,but I won't tell you, as you know the answer yourself,right?)Yes, you do,James. Very glad that you visited my page.I have read some poems of yours.They smell like french perfume,why?
11 Years Ago
Dear Mariam
Touché as they say.
With a smile and my best wishes read moreDear Mariam
very nicely penned, short and simple but directly in target, no one single word is lost here.i loved how you have picked the words, the flow and the images..