getting to the story

As I start thinking of the first time I met lucas I noticed everything around me. Colors and details and smells around. Nothing was a colorless canvas anymore. Staring at me Dr. olig sitting behind his big mahogany  with nothing on it but my file and a crystal paper weight of the world. He had on a lavender dress shirt with a tailored black vest and silver and purple tie. I noticed he had on black cuff links with his initials D.O. on them. Davis Olig. He looked younger than I previously thought, late thirties early forties maybe. He was handsome with a strong jaw line close cropped dirty blond hair, straight nose and smile lines around his eyes. He never smiled when I saw him and it has been 3 months. His office was painted with a light chocolate; like milk with a hint of cocoa.

His office walls were decorated with all his schools accomplishments and his awards in psychology. Nothing personal on the walls or desk to suggest he had a family. The chair I was sitting was very uncomfortable, stylish but uncomfortable. I stare out the window for a minute watching the rain fall and the trees sway. I love when it rains it always make me feel sad but I love it.

“doc I think I want to lie on the couch, it will be easier for me to talk this way” I whispering letting melancholy set in my voice and face. I’ve been seeing the good doc for 3 months and never laid on the couch. I hate that couch for some reason it make me believe if I were to lay on the couch then I would be truly crazy. Maybe I am and I am just now realizing it.

“sure. I am quite surprise you want to talk. We usually sit and stare at each other” he said with a small smile. His smile as small as it was; was beautiful. “what prompted you to talk to me today Ivy?”

“I’m  ready, it’s that simple” I shrugged and tug at another loose curl. I have thick wild and curly brown hair and I have not worn it down since I lost Lucas. I stood to walk  to the couch and adjusted my white tiered maxi skirt noticing my chipped black nail polish and thought I will paint them when I get home. I wore a green camisole top with a high low hem. As I walked over to the couch I took down my hair. “ Ivy I did not know you had a tattoo” dr. olig said from behind me still sitting at his desk, the smile no longer there.

“ I have seven Doc.” He saw the one that had Lucas’s name scripted in a infinity symbol as I had taken my hair down. “Do you like it?” I said smirking as I faced him from across the room.

“I don’t believe in vandalizing my body Ms. Hunter” he frowned. “may I ask what the other tattoos are”? he asked as he stood to come sit in the chair by the couch.

Five of the tattoos are his name in the infinity symbol,  there are two on my feet. One foot has five stars, because the boys that did this were stars in school. They were going place after high school and thought they could do anything they wanted to do. On the other foot is seven tear drops. Five for the tears that people  will always be shed for those boys and the other two for the tears I will shed for lucas and myself.” Is sat on the couch and took of my sandals so he can see my feet. “did you know that each time he killed for me he cut me in a spot on my body and when it healed I put the tattoo over it. He will always be a part of me. I will never get them removed.” I laid on the couch closed my eyes took and took a deep breath. “are you ready Doc?”

“Ready ivy” I heard him say. I wiggled my toes and was brought back to that august morning on the first day of school.