Pale and lifeless, with the forbidden color red as I remembered his face. The red color of agony and despair as I recalled it. I embraced its warmth as it traveled in the creases of my palms it was warm and eerie as my soul wept quietly,painfully, wondering off in its own world. A world I soon discovered without a choice. A world of solitude and bitter memoires that soon engraved itself deeply scarring me forever.
I held him tight as he bled and not one single tear shed out of me. The only thought I had. "Is he okay. This is not real." He's okay. He's okay he's okay. These words kept repeating itself to me. It went on and on. Kept bitterly echoing in my soul, as my fingers trembled in fear. He was heavy? No? I couldnt remember.
Oh how I plead and prayed for god to have pity on us.
We were too young, and if this was a sin, just please forgive us and give us another chance.
But as his eyes rolled back. I knew..
Silence belittled every inch of me and I could not hear the crowd of kids surrounding us. The terror written on their faces. The faces that soon became a blur to me. I couldn't remember, or want to remember. I just saw his face, his body lying there on the pavement..motionless and I had already knew.....but I couldnt wouldn't accept it. I won't. ...how could I?
Even till this day I still feel incomplete.
He wore white....a day like this and he wore a white tshirt that quickly became brighter than a red apple..
My heart felt shallow and distorted. A lump, filled with anguish and rage, with sorrow and pain. Fate has done a deal of work to hurt me. To pain me deeply.
The forbidden color flowed endlessly, sucking the life out of him. I...became an object, Stuck in a time warp in shock and I became completely destructible. I couldn't bare letting go. Thinking of it now pains me in so many ways. But I must.. Admit it. It did happened.....
The sirens wailing from a distance, with its flashing lights had reasurred me what had happened and it wasn't a dream. It was real.
It was only moments ago I held his hands. It was only seconds ago we walked away so happily, so eager to see eachother.
I couldn't wait for the the last bell to ring, counting every second hand. But when that beautiful sound rang..i remebered how happy i was. I rushed out of school sprinting out to see him across the building by the crossing guard as usual.
He'd lay his back against that blue house with one feet up against the wall crossing his arms. A pure smile that touched his eyes. He didn't bring his bike today like he normally would, and I'd ride behind him to the park. Like we normally would.
But it didn't matter. His smile was enough for me. I'd walk with him.......