No one to listen

My biggest fear is universally experienced, but feels personal.

All of the nouns in the world don't make me lose sleep at night. No person, place, or thing leaves me tossing and turning in the quietest hours. The thing that creeps into my mind and leaves me staring at the ceiling is what my Sophmore English teacher would categorize as an abstract noun, loneliness. I spend my days filling journals with my deepest thoughts that are groundbreaking to only myself. I spend hours scouring the internet to find new music only to replay the songs alone in my bathroom. When I was little, being told I was pretty and smart translated into my brain as I would never have to walk to the park and sit on the swings alone. It is hard not to feel scared of being swallowed by all of the blank space in your life. My mother and my two best friends say that boys aren't interested because I have a smart mouth and an intimidating complexity about me, but does that really mean I deserve to be deprived of the universal experience that is teenage romance?

Reviews

[rose loya]

You are such a good writer. You have a gift, you do. You just need to believe it. Having a, as you put it in quoting your mother, "a smart mouth and an intimidating complexity", you know how many would love to have a smart, intelligent mouth to speak from and an intimidating complexity? A lot, a lot of people would love and I bet envy what you have.
So own it. Be proud of it.
OWN it.
;) Rose

[Kilmer]

Thank you so much. I have found that being in high school has made me question things I never have before, including my writing abilities. Thank you so much for reassuring me of both my academic and person doubts.
Much love and thanks!
Aydan

[Kilmer]

*Personal doubts ahaha

[rose loya]

You are so welcome:) xo, (and deservedly so! don't forget that..)