We're Scared of the Dark Because We've Seen What's There When the Lights Were On

I think I’m tired.
 
Dad sleeps on the couch downstairs
where it always smells like pretzels
and Coca-Cola (or alcohol, but he says he’s sober),
and the T.V.’s always on, and part of me wonders
if shadows gather up on the sofa when we’re not home.
 
(I changed my mind, I’m not tired at all).
 
The shadows keep me awake all the time,
whistling white noise while I try to write
about the omnipresent spaces between us when
everybody’s home, but when we still feel alone,
like now, when my sister’s absorbed inside herself
and crooning her reflection as though
she’s begging it to keep her company.
 
Like I said, it’s not that I’m tired.
 
It’s something else, like a proverbial longing
to find solace in my mother’s empty eyes
as they search for unseen lines of conflict
that she’s strung up all over the house to trip us,
to make us fight and feel something (anything) 
beyond hollow familiarity with each other.
 
“I’m not depressed, Mom, I’m just tired.”
 
I’m weathered raw but I don’t know why, because
no one’s said that anything’s wrong, and the shadows
always keep me company when the house feels cold and dead
and the light-bulbs still haven’t been replaced so they just gather up
like dark dust on the walls where the light doesn’t shine,
and they still laugh silently on the couches when we leave the T.V. on,
and my brother hasn’t talked for quite a while so perhaps
he’s just another inky creature; he’s afraid of the dark, perhaps because
shadows need some light to be seen.
 
He says he doesn’t want the lights out because he’s not tired.
I’m not tired.
I’m not sure what I am.
 
Perhaps we’re all just shadows on the couch, too scared to turn the lights off. 

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Very well written piece. I find your poetic voice has strength and soul, and a definite power of craftsmanship. You have a way of writing that is both conversational and intimate at the same time. The last line is absolutely stunning. Such a tapestry of life you have created. I shall certainly be back to read more of you!!!

[Temerity]

Thank you. I really admire your work, so it is great to hear from you... :)

[Jennifer K]

I really liked the way this poem was written, with a long stanza and then one line. It really adds character to this piece of writing. The poem overall is very deep and thoughtful, reflecting your great writing skill. I just think the title may be a little bit too long but other than that your poem is great!

[Devesh]

I've got some Dumbledorry-wisdom to share in the form of comments:

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Perhaps you haven't turned on the light yet. Something worth thinking about. Loverly read, thanks for sharing! :)

[Broken.Words]

your writing expressions is soo good,
expressed each and everything so clearly
Amazing write! ...~

[Frieda P]

Sounds a little bit like depression, a little bit like apprehension but it's written just right...much enjoyed your lights out.

[Emily B]

oh, wow

welcome to the cafe . . . looking forward to reading more of you

[Temerity]

Thank you! I really appreciate it. :)

[Sami Khalil]

Well written. Thank you for sharing...:)

[Temerity]

Thank you for commenting...:)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...:)

[DL Shackleford]

Wow. I really do like this piece a lot! You certainly capture this family's loneliness, despair and distance from each other. The imagery is wonderful and I do love the part about the mother.

[Temerity]

Thank you. :)