My Last Piece For You

Dear N,
This will be my last piece for you. 
There is nothing left for me to do. 
I guess, this is my last attempt to find some peace,
But, I know it won't fix me. 
You were the last person for me to entrust my heart to,
The last person I'd believe was different.

Now, my affections are spent. 
And there's little good to show for it. 
I can see that you turned into another liar too
as you moved on so quickly,
Dissipated your feelings for me so coldly.
But, you had said that you were falling for me, 
You had asked me to let you show me
That you could treat me differently.

I guess such promises are easy to make 
When commitment isn't in place. 
I just want to know how you could look me in the face
And tell me you're talking to someone else...
After...
Months of...
Late night hangouts,
Cooking together,
Movie nights,
Sleeping beside me.

After...
Learning how I've been treated,
How I consistently feel defeated.

Still, you moved on without warning,
Without a second thought.

You made me fall
You gave me a taste of the intimacy I wanted all along. 
And now you're gone,
Just like the rest.
I can't win
No matter how good I've been,
I always go back to remembering that nothing good can stay.

What else can I do
but dump my heart on the floor
So that I can't feel it anymore
When some idiot comes to stomp on it.

You were the only one who could read me like a book,
With just one look,
You could tell how I was feeling,
Now that's withdrawn,
And I'm stuck here disbelieving.

I was ready to make myself at home in your heart. 
Now, I'm broken apart,
I want to leave this as a weight on your chest,
But what good will that do,
When you have someone there to lighten the load?
No. 
I'll bear this myself,
Withdraw into my own hell
with each look at you,
Remembering being so much closer,
It had been such a beautiful view,
Now you're a demon brand new,
With your teeth in my brain,
Your claws in my chest,
And all I can do,
Is sit and watch as the memories turn red,
And eventually turn me dead.

But, thank you anyway for trying to show me how I should be loved. 
And thank you for killing me off. 
I'll always be in your debt.

Author's Note

This one is - in part - written based on the poetry prompt "I'm fine but he knew otherwise". Just a part of it. But, it's also written as a kind of goodbye piece. An eviction from the heart kind of piece. It's a bit of a mess because I'm hurt but I'm also...emotionally destroyed but I'm also...empty. 🤷🏻‍♀️