And So You Did Not Stay

I was right to question. 
To listen...
Listen to my voices and back away. 
Not only could you leave,
But, your emotions could fray.
Like a favored sweater shouldered on and off day by day,
So my presence wore on you.

And so you did not stay.

The sharing of thoughts and stressors,
The gentlest caresses,
I tried to be the girl I used to dream of being,
Squeeze out some remnant of affection or effort
Because I thought you deserved it. 
I guess I ripped one of your seams,
Because while my fragile rose returned readily recycled to my chest,
Yours palpably pressed itself down to your feet.

And so you did not stay.

And I must question...
Why you used to want my attention and affection
But, now I'm a childish waste of time. 
Where's the rhythm and rhyme 
Don't you believe that I tried?
Couldn't I get my chance to shine?
If not with you, then elsewhere?
Where did I go wrong?

And so you did not stay.

I can't help but believe that...
If even you left me this way,
Who else would?
I didn't get any notice,
Just an empty room within my chest. 
I guess I wasn't worth even that little bit of time,
That little courtesy. 
At least with pain,
I'm no novice. 
This much you knew,
My heart you promised to renew,
Instead you too took your turn,
Tearing it once more into two.

And so you did not stay.

Kind sir,
I have a question.
Why take up my time and attention,
When you feel so strongly about your ambitions?
Why fill my heart just to tear it away?
You knew how I wanted badly for someone to stay,
To be happy,
You knew how I wanted to experience the feeling that I was truly special, 
But I guess I never was,
And never will be.

And so you did not stay.

You may not know it yet,
But beside you my heart is set. 
Locked in an iron box just big enough for it. 
There it will stay. 
So that it can never grow one bit,
Only shrink with each beat. 
Perhaps, this way, it will one day...
Finally,
At long last,
Fit inside my chest like it should. 
If I'm lucky, maybe it will speak differently too.

At least I can say my heart will stay.

Author's Note

This one was written as a letting go piece after the b*llsh*ttery that ended my feelings towards the person I was in a situationship. Some don't like the name of the piece because it's kinda "clunky" but, I feel it has purpose. Do you?