Thorn In My Side

Pick it out, pick it up, just go.

No.  No.  No!
I wasn't ready then
I won't let it spiral out
I haven't let it run it's course
I can't let it drain away its own life
I don't know how to keep it at the forefront
I shouldn't have to let it all slip from my fingers
I wouldn't let anyone in this position shy away from destiny
I couldn't survive another failed progress, process, wilted protests
You hadn't lived with the bad times like I did, not exactly
You weren't the one who made survival choice
You aren't these shoulders and weights
It hasn't been that many choices
It isn't a choice now even
It doesn't resonate
I am failing.

Author's Note

Shapes are fun

Reviews

[Heather]

I like how this poem grows, and obviously the shape of it makes it more interesting, as the writer struggles with various doubts and then brings the reader back letting them see that we don''t know your struggles, the despair and burdens you carry are like a thorn or do they shape you? Strong piece. Made me think, want to know more.

[tekphobik]

It's designed to wind up to the longest line and then kind of fade out as the lines get shorter as a kind of childish inner monologue. Glad you enjoyed it, nobody seems to ever notice this one for some reason.

[Heather]

perhaps the brilliance in it, makes it hard to review :)

[tekphobik]

har har, I'm not so humble as to shy away from a quick ego stroke. Thanks.

[layla]

i love it.... inspires me with new methods of writing! thanks

[The Refined Poet]

the build of and resolve of this poem is done perfectly. excellent write.

[tekphobik]

I personally like the way it switches to excuses after the thorn point.

[Patricia B. Hepler]

Rising crescendo, decreasing. Yes. ~pat