Going Great

One goes up, one goes down.

I had a dream once, a vision of terrible perfection
An apparition that felt like a grandmaster's endgame
It overcame me with its simplicity, its complexity
All the pieces had fallen into place, everything was
I could see what always meant

It started with a confession, a mind shattered truth
There were soft words in a flurry of hushed whispers
Like the snow falling that night I confided a misery
Hard my life and my woman; hard my booze and my drugs
A blind man in sea of white

There would have been no end to my frantic disclosure
Had my body been able to keep pace to a broken mind
A dam had finally collapsed within the walking corpse
But the waters hadn't the energy to keep on flowing
There formed a lake instead

It was a contract signed with naivety and compassion
We believed it the foundation of a perfect coupling
Negotiated currencies of an honesty and understanding
Stay true on the inside even when the surface is lies
What was within was for us

You.  I won't address you by any other term for fear;
Stripped naked you decided that I needed someone by
That I was a black bird with a broken wing to tend to
So you dove in, and scooped me up with gentlest touch
There was no more loneliness

Time passed...

Chess became checkers became a black reality TV show
Snow became rain became a drought strangling crops
Lake became pond became an arid and barren wasteland
Promise became patience became resounding hopelessness

My wing did heal though.

Half a decade I've kept you as the eternal mistress
Circling above, watching, waiting for your signal
Supporting your needle driving poison deep in vein
There should have been a moment when you reversed
You just keep on sinking

Straight and narrow for years, that's been my march
I used to believe you'd hop on the wagon eventually
We started out with a purpose, what we tried to touch
One push harder, one pill more, another line written
Torture ourselves great

You can't see it anymore, but your brain's gone rot
Rehab didn't stick to you like the nut house got to me
Now I remember why I stayed with you for these years
You were supposed to hurt me, you were another story
I have something to write

Goodbye.

I'm going great,
You're going gone.

Author's Note

catharsis more than anything.

Reviews

[_mal]

It’s not fair is it.

Stay true on the inside even when the surface is lies - I think those of us who fall into these holes pick up on extra feelings, we need to save ourselves and we desperately want to save our loved ones.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

wow...I adore this write...I can feel the flow and emotion...wonderful work.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Blistering piece of prose. The eulogy we all want to scream out at the funeral but can't due to the fact that tradition and decorum must be respected. You scored here.