The Rotten Smell Of People Walking In A Straight Line

this is just my heart speaking aloud!

throbbing sense of something irrelevant in the hand of the user,
you look at me with the eyes of some fool, petty thief searching for a soul to steel,
the devil, sheep disguised as an angel of death,
have you ever thought about the good times, chances taken without thinking,
impulsive actions, beating of the heart, straight lines in forms of triangles
the ache, grabbing of senile actions, my heart, aching in the form of live,
but this is my last breath
before i go, listen careful;
i am not you
i am
I.

Author's Note

i love critic =]

Reviews

[CHRIS ANDES]

"rotten" that's the word my friend used to say when she felt like hell
haha,..I like it just the way it is =]

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I liked this piece. It was original. I love the honesty within the poem. I like the last line. This piece was overall really nicely written. Thanks for sharing. :3

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Different, nice, I like this, and this part here:
"impulsive actions, beating of the heart, straight lines in forms of triangles
the ache, grabbing of senile actions, my heart, aching in the form of live,"

[Jeremy Baker]

I really admire your originality and passion; your writing is strong and honest as a result. It's a pleasure reading you and seeing your style develop and evolve. Great write.

[EMF]

Real nice. Power pace and passion. A truly great one my friend. One little thing might be worth a play with. What if your last word, instead of me was I ? Not a damn thing wrong with the way it is. I could just see it really irritating the pedantic on here. But I do push a bit. You however are a great writer man, and I'm so glad you stayed.