Chapter One – The Beginning After The End

It is the ear 1521 in Asteria where the war stopped immediatly after the coming of the Dravillos, the creature that rulled Death Island. Now the Asterians need to stand up and fight these creatures.

Smoke rose from the ground where countless dead bodies lay burning to a cinder. The sound of Dravillos flying overhead made the sands quiver. Venaci stood over his brother’s body �" covered with the blood of one of the Dravillos and his own.

                “He didn’t die in vain,” the hoarse voice of his brother floated through the thick air. Clouds covered the sky with a stodgy colour of grey. Ash fell solemnly to the sandy grave of thousands.

“Let’s get out of here, it’s not safe.”

 

The ground shook loudly under the feet of their undersized bodies where they stood over the open flames. The sweat rolled down their faces and the silent sobs filled the calm air aloud.

                “We are going to get out of here sister. Don’t worry,” Ellana slowly tried to comfort her sister while the flames scorched at their blue dresses. “I am here for you…”

“Quiet down! You will shut-up!” the Dravillos guard commanded them. His scales were hardened by the war and scars �" countless scars �" beneath his eyes stood out. He looked at them from where he stood. The green in his eyes gleamed underneath the grey light.

After what felt like hours to the sisters, he walked away from the gate.  The shackles around their arms hung in the air with their arms above their head. Blood seeped through the key hole of Setani’s shackle. It was too small for her arm. The pressure building in her arm with the adrenalin running through her veins pushed the blood though the open wound. There was no pain, but the strange sensation the blood gave off running down her arm pulled her attention to the matter.

“S**t, I’m hurt Ellana, I’m hurt!” A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked up at her arm where the blood, now freely, flowed from. Ellana was the strong one in the family of now three. Setani grew up beside her mother in the chambers. She never faced the real world, and loved to dress up with her mother. She was twenty three and still didn’t know what really went on in the outside, until she faced the first Dravillo in her life. She pissed her pants wet and look where she is now. … To Be Continued*

Author's Note

this is just a short preview... but please review and help me with errros....!*

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Interesting short preview, a unique world with the characters chained and hurt. Nice write.

[alley]

I can't believe ur leaving!!

[CHRIS ANDES]

undoubtedly perfectly arranged!!!

[Frank]

Good work. It'll be interesting to read more.

[Leon R]

Good start but...DUDE, WHY SO SHORT?
No I'm serious, it really grabs my attention I want to read more but I'm sucker for some more details. Now you are just tickling my imagination but it's not enough. More, please?

[EMF]

The only advice I could give you is to expand it. Beyond that it is terrific

[Jane Doe]

I didn't see any then again I'm not a good author, and I'm not one who uses exact grammar rules and all(: I like it I would definitely love to read this whole thing!
Im very excited to read it though, I apologize for not being able to help that much.
Regardless I tried isnt it the thought that counts?(:

Xoxo
~angel
100/100