Chapter 15, A Walk In The Park

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The door opened quickly. Felt their hands on the back of my body while I tried to escape. Freedom was so close. So close. My legs couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, giving in to it. The gravel tore some of the flesh on my knee.

“S**t,” I exclaimed at last when I stopped skidding along the tar rode.

“I don’t know why you tried to run away,” disappointment was in her voice as she talked in a low tone to me, her eyes avoided mine the whole time.

“I told you, I had nightmares and just wanted to sleep in my own bed.”

“Why didn’t you just call me?”

“You know you wouldn’t have agreed to that.” I sighed quit and tried to look out the window.

“True. The doctors want to keep you here for some tests. Or you can come home but you then need to see someone, and just talk about that night. You need to get it out of you,” the mother instinct was indeed still present in her when she wanted it to be.

“Okay, just get me out of here please.”

“And you need to apologise to the nurse you hit,” she looked at me for the first time since she arrived.

“Yes,” my heart sank in my feet when I realized I need to face her again. Everything went silent again when I saw her face in my mind.

Small drops of water ran down the window on the outside of the car. Sour odours entered my nose when we turned down in Avengre road. We haven’t spoken since I walked out the hospital. My mind wondered of to places out of the reach for the human mind. I dreamed with my eyes open of her. We kissed slowly in the quiet rain falling over us in the woods behind our wooden cabin in a place so far away from other people. It was just us, no one else.

“Get out,” she said loud when the car stopped in the garage. It started to rain heavier when my door opened. I walked slowly to my room, where I can finally do what my mind wants to do, just be alive.

The door slammed close with a bang and I jumped onto my bed. Quickly I put my earphones into my ears as the music started to blast.

These white walls are taking me
These white walls are taking me
Familiar, restless, bleeding, constant
Saying the words we mean to no one (we mean to no one)
It's the best way to kill the adolescent (the adolescent)
I can hear them calling
I can see them reaching out
They're speaking my name
They're pleading with my heart
I can hear them calling
I can see them reaching out
They're speaking my name
They're pleading with my heart*

*Still Remains, White Walls, Of Love And Lunacy

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