Click-click-click the hollow sound from the keyboard echoes through my head electronic sounds word printed on the screen "FAKE" I scream loud, a natural sound but I don't stop Click-click-click my fingers hit the screen sending fake words love through a screen sex with yourself. Click-click-click the clicking continues as I try to walk away you pop into my head unreal love, hardened words cold voices icy touch What happened to us?
Not competely, but I got the essence of frustration in your words.
I hope you can expand, you leave me wanting to know more. What did happen?
The best form of writing to me is free flowing thought. Fresh hurt, fresh rage, raw emotion. Give me more. Don't think just write. You may surprise yourself. Show me a little love.... Where did you begin and again how did you end up here?
Nice work.
Gahhhh I love this, especially this part:
"Click-click-click
my fingers hit the screen
sending fake words
love through a screen
sex with yourself."
This is so awesome.
Sometimes making stuff up is the beauty,
and sometimes it just turns out to be one of the great writes.
I really love this. Awesome awesome awesome.
i understand...the missing connection between people through a virtual screen - you get a simulated amount of attention but not human connection through touch or affection.
Reminds me of the desperation that people have on chat rooms. When I read this, I thought of YM chatrooms exactly, inundated with bots and desperate people looking for some fake lovins.
Or simply a long-distance relationship, one that lost the urgency of love within it and became more obligation than anything. Words are words unless they have the actions to back them. you can *smile*, *giggle*, *laugh*, *hugs*, *kiss*, all you want to, but unless you're there to hear it, the words and actions are fake unless you're actually doing them at that moment. We put these down to appease, to add humanity to our texts or instant messaging, but the actions mean significantly more if you are there physically holding that person, etc...
at least this is the way I took the poem. Either way, good job.
This is golden. I think I like this one the best out of everything I've read by you. You still need to work a bit on your capitalization/punctuation here so there can be a bit more clarity, but it's a bit negligible, I suppose. Good job.