No More!

Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself!

Sharpened blade
cut the skin
causes bleeding, it
kills with one swipe
but your words,
words fly through the
sky
piercing the
skin of my body.
Your words are
poison!
Running through my
veins,
my heart stops beating
I fall to the ground
but
still
live.
Poison filled words
enter my body
with speed
as you scream at me with hate, rage, fury!
I stand up
with the little energy
in my body
to look you in the eyes
and say
no
more.

Author's Note

:) hope its not to bad :)

Reviews

[light and ashes]

This is fantastic. I love it. "I stand up with the little energy in my body to look you in the eyes and say no more," when we are being beat down mentally or physically you need to stand up for yourself and let them know that you aren't going to take it anymore, take no crap!

[Pratik]

Nice one... well written and full of vivid emotions

[Lily Mae]

Nothing is bad in my opinion as long as you wrote it as you felt it.. Very sharp and intense and I liked it...x

[Russe Salome]

Hmm. I don't think this is one of your best, to be honest. It's not bad, but I feel like your words are a bit cluttered. There's unnecessary repetition of words--some of them should be deleted entirely--and your structure is a little clumsy. Try cutting back some, to preserve the same emotion only with less bulk around it.
I see the battle cry in this poem, and that's what I think is important. So please take my criticism here with the knowledge that there's excellent potential in this poem and I just want to see it shine through.

[MmeCorpse]

No not bad at all. Very strong emotion in this one with some powerful word choices. Good.

[Priscilla Sayers]

No, its good. I like the imagery you gave me. The physical pain that connects the emotion words can send into you. Keep going. It's a very passionate piece.

[Scytheriax]

I love the emotion in this poem, as well as the diction and imagery

Good poem =)

[Kenneth The Poet]

Brilliant.