Broken Heart

Broken Heart

A Poem by ((Teenage_Poet_Loser))
"

I once was inlove...

"
the first time
I looked in your eyes,
I knew
knew from the start this would happen.
you take what you want
you brake the things
that I live for
to pleasure your
sick
sadistic
little game
of a broken love
a broken heart...

© 2011 ((Teenage_Poet_Loser))


Author's Note

((Teenage_Poet_Loser))
This is so far out of my prefered genre! Comment pleassse! Will buy you a cookie =D

My Review

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Short poems are good to read. I think that there's a lot to be said about poets who can condense their feelings into just a few lines. And the anguish here is tangible. Just as a notes, there are a few incongruities with your punctuation and capitalization, so just look out for that I suppose. Just make sentences into verse.
Your tone is the thing I love most here, the cutting rage of it all, and I can really relate to that sharp stab of betrayal that's coming through here. Good job, I'm eager to see what comes next.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like this it is truly neat peice of writing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Cookie please haha, though seriously for this write it is something different then your genre. Though it is nice. The feeling is nice in this.

Posted 12 Years Ago


short and nice write..very true..

Posted 13 Years Ago


I like how simple and true this is...very nicely written

Posted 13 Years Ago


It's simple and short, but beautiful :)
I LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE!

Posted 13 Years Ago


Ooh! I want a cookie!

Sorry, I haven't taken my ADD pills.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Inevitably we learn from the brake.. but thats the free spirit of risk something will break..or maybe not break.. ahhh the cost is too much. nice work. Definitely feels like every word is pointedly. making. it. across..

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wonderful write! the story of your short poem sounds familiar...
anyway, i love it!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

great write!!!

~Lizzy~

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really love the last two lines of it. It reminds me of a few people I know. Good write :)


Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 7, 2011
Last Updated on October 7, 2011