Spreading My Wings

The world can corupt a soul, even the ones closest to us...!

Tonight is the last night
your eyes are full of tears
your face unrecognisable
the sickness
is in you, breaking
the bonds that keep you together
black poison
fills the veins of your
minute body
your eyes close
producing a stream of tears
I turn my back on you:
this isn't you.
Black poison polluted
the body of an innocent girl
I feel the anguish, I feel the remorse
but you are dead, stolen by this world
My hands move away from you
leaving your side
I walk away, to never
see your face again
I shed a tear, falling to the ground
and shatters into thousands of
memories gone forever
My eye close
as I walk away from you.
Her wings grow full
her eyes turn black
the black feathers rip
through the clothes
and she flies away...

Author's Note

I dont know, I feel little weird about this one. Does it have potential? Is it that bad? To get the feeling? I wanted to try something else for a change...

Reviews

[Solaris LeRouche]

Wow, It gives me the feeling of Cantarella Poison poetry.

[Josephine Nive]

*snap *snap, I can relate.
Very well illustrated through words alone:)

[light and ashes]

I think it is fantastic. I had trouble understanding why you ended it they way you did if they were turning away from this person but then Priscilla's review on it and her take on this makes more sense and allows me to do accept and even more than that to appreciate what a great write this is.

[Kayla :)]

I loved it. it was great poem. you shouldn't doubt yourself...

[Sarah Jane]

I absolutly love the ending. very strong imargy, i love it

[MmeCorpse]

Nice vivid imagery at the end. Very good.

[Tazzie]

...that was good...

[Priscilla Sayers]

I think it is beautiful. So heartbreaking and freeing. When I read this I see a man accepting the death of the woman he loves. Her death expected because she has fallen to sickness, cancer, plague, or something along those lines. The black poison,
gives me such a vivid image. He accepts it, mourns her. Then her soul flys away for she no longer withers trapped in a poisoned shell, but she is now free. I think it is very powerful.

[Sarah E. Pearson]

This is actually really, really, good. not 'that bad' at all. It does have potential. Great write.