A Short Curtain

Inspired by a music video of Norma Jean!

Timothy's left hand touched Beth's leg. The couch was soft against their bodies in the darkness of the room. In the middle of the room stood a dark brown coffee table. Visible stains were left behind, creating a feeling of untidiness and neglectance. From a thin white cable out of the room, hung a yellow light shining a dim ray of photons over the room.
Silence spoke the only words. At the end of the room, where Tim and Beth's eyes lingered, were the curtains; white, brown smudges, tear marks and blood stains. Tranquil movements mesmerised them. From the empty eye sockets, dripped the remainder of their red blood. On the floor lied the puddle of blood, where they were cut, severely cut by a blunt knife. On the couch, next to the stone cold bodies, the knife lied, still. Quiet sounds of flickering light, the sound of the raging wind outside, teased the bodies to move. But in the fight against the inability to move, Timothy's head fell on the shoulder of Beth's body.
A door flung open in the kitchen, sending shock waves of fright through the numb bodies on the couch. Footsteps could be heard in the ever so long passage. Timothy's grip around Beth's hand tightened tremendously. New tears of blood formed inside their sockets, dripping down onto their clothes. Silent sounds of helpless sobs filled the quiet room.
The footsteps stopped in front of them. The smell of old aftershave and fresh whiskey filled the room. The silent cries stopped immediately.
"I am home," a smile formed on the wrinkled face, the heavy eyes lit up with energy, and his hands couldn't contain themselves.

Author's Note

Is there such a word as "neglectance"?

Reviews

[Priscilla Sayers]

No there isn't such a word as neglectance... neglegence....I think is the word your looking for. Anyway, you have good imagery but I was a little confused about whether or not the couple was dead or alive at first. A lot of the same words were used as adjectives, ie. Silence. Maybe try finding a new way to describe silence. Is this a book your writing? It is a good start. Make sure you give your reader's a little something to relate to though, a way to connect. You definitely have shock value in there though. Good job.

[Dominique]

Yes there is such a word as negletance, or at least i think so. This was a good story to. I like how you ended it.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

A interesting story here with a scene of blood and more. Creepiness like a horror move scene where bodies lay in pools of themselves, blood. Nicely done in a short amount of space.

[WritersSoul]

This is kinda freaky, since my name is Beth also O_O (nightmares!) I think this is a cool kinda scary opening to a killer story :D
Bethh .... :3 O_O

[Sarah Jane]

Amazing imagery! i loved this. I think this ought to be a book I would definetly read[: wow

[joshua deathdealer]

Nicely done...I love norma jean..xx

[Maryum Mazhar]

OMG!!!

Honestly, very Stephen King-ish,
Really really reaaallly creepy,
short, awesome, spooky, and, well, just freaking great!

[((Teenage_Poet_Loser))]

confusion in the reader is sometimes good someone said =D... they're alive... and it is only a short piece =] tnx a lot all =D xx

[MmeCorpse]

Nice and creepy.

[Raya Avans]

Once again you create.. art. I admire your ability to make such a short passage so.. 'full'. One grammar error mesmerised/*mesmerized. I was also slightly confused as to wether you meant for them to be dead or alive