Vermont

Vermont

A Poem by kelsey
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"
there is one guy
he's from Vermont
he's got sparkles in his eyes
and yet i can't recall his name
 
his brother is in Kilo
his eyes sparkle to
and their parents are great to
all from Brattleboro
 
it's cold there
he's my type of guy
living in the cold
and not where it's hot
 
he is a very knowledgeable boy
we met at a game
a football game
he sat next to me
 
his smile was great
it was infectious
and that's why i'm astounded
i can't remember his name
 
we talked through the whole game
quarters one, two, three, and four
it was like we had met before
like old friends catching up
 
we talked about anything
we talked about everything
we never ran out of words to speak
he was a high school student
 
he educated me on football
i taught him soccer
we talked and talked
it never got old
 
our parents and siblings
well they sat in front of us
they talked and talked
but not as much as us
 
when it came to the end
i didn't want him to go
but he said goodbye
he was so polite and he left
 
i saw him again
i was waiting for my brother
he waved in his passing
he was gone -- again
 
i hoped i would see him again
so we could talk
and i could catch his name
but he waved and was gone
 
maybe next time i will see him again
i hope he remembers what we did
if he doesn't we can start fresh
and maybe then i will remember his name

© 2009 kelsey


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Reviews

I think this piece has great potential but needs to be minimalized. For instance...if you took this and did this I think it would improve the poem because of the subject matter. Check it out.

"there is one guy
he's from Vermont
he's got sparkles in his eyes
and yet i can't recall his name" That's what you got. I'd change it to

One guy from Vermont
Sparkles in his eyes
I can't recall his name


Better...but still your words...that's called editing. lol


Posted 15 Years Ago


thank you, i was in a rush and didn't catch the errors when i read it last time... thank you again!

Posted 15 Years Ago


Wow, fantastic poem! My only suggestion is to check your spelling. I thought this was a lovely poem, thanks for sharing!
-Dana :)

Posted 15 Years Ago



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111 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 24, 2009
Last Updated on March 1, 2009

Author

kelsey
kelsey

Hartford, CT



About
I'm a girl, i don't really write all that often... my writings are just something that comes to my mind and then i write it down, only sometimes do i revise/edit it. i absolutely love to write, what e.. more..

Writing