Ol' Abe

Abraham was sitting around

Minding his very own business when

His Lord spoke to him. You see,

They talked every now and then.

 

"Take your son up into the hills.

I know a place that's really nice.

And don't forget your dagger, Abe.

I'm hungry for a sacrifice."

 

So ol' Abe grabbed his son--Isaac--

And off they went, minding the Lord.

I guess there wasn't enough going on

And so the Lord was getting bored.

 

Once Abe found the perfect spot,

He laid some sticks upon the ground.

He was going to sacrifice

His son there on that little mound.

 

Isaac lay upon the sticks,

Silently, without thrashing.

His dad was leaning over him.

In his hand his knife was flashing.

 

Isaac put two and two together.

(You wouldn't have to be that smart

To know your dad was just about

To plunge a knife into your heart.)

 

Suddenly, the Lord said "Whoa!

I was kidding. Put down that knife.

Abe, I didn't mean for you

To put an end to Isaac's life.

 

"I was merely testing you.

Sorry about the little scare.

The two of you can go back home

And wash out Isaac's underwear."

 

Abraham found a ram in a thicket--

Sadly, an unlucky one--

And offered his Lord some roasted ram--

That instead of roasted son.

 

It doesn't sound to me as though

Abraham's god was on the level.

If gods are willing to traumatize

Kids like that, who needs a devil?

 

-by Bob B (2-10-25)