Doubting Thomas

Thomas could be rude.

The guy was always stewed

And had a reputation in the town.

 

Not much of a thinker,

The wild, rambunctious drinker

Was met by local townsfolk with a frown.

 

He had a couple buddies--

Similar case studies--

Who would often sit with him and drink.

 

It seems they gave their all

To drinking alcohol.

Not a healthy life, do you think?

 

The three of them were single,

So often they would mingle

With ladies who would show up at the bar.

 

But surely you can guess

That their limited success

Resulted from their drunken repertoire.

 

Thomas then confided

In his buddies and decided

That self-improvement meant a different tack.

 

He cut down on his drinking

And applied some wishful thinking,

Hoping he could find he had the knack.

 

As you'd have it, fate

Stepped up to the plate

And brought into the bar a gal named Sue.

 

Thomas took a chance

And asked Sue for a dance--

Something that was hard for him to do.

 

With soda as his savior

And on his best behavior,

Surprisingly, he made a good impression.

 

Dancing through the night,

The couple was a sight,

With Tom avoiding any indiscretion.

 

It wasn't long before

The two walked out the door.

Into the night they slyly disappeared.

 

Four or five months later

The nightclub's nosy waiter

Said he'd noticed something very weird:

 

He said that while eavesdropping

At a store where they were shopping,

He heard them talk of love and other things.

 

While standing there and staring,

He noticed they were wearing

Shiny, flashy, silver wedding rings.

 

The two had gotten married.

No, they hadn't tarried.

Now they could enjoy connubial bliss.

 

But when they both returned

To the nightclub we all learned

From watching them that something was amiss.

 

What had occurred to Thomas?

He hadn't kept his promise:

That he would change his wild, rambunctious ways.

 

It was very clear:

Sue had had it up to here.

She could tell this wasn't just a phase.

 

It went from bad to worse

As though there'd been a curse

Upon their marriage. Wasn't it a shame?

 

One day Sue departed.

Tom was broken hearted,

But he would not accept an ounce of blame.

 

Sometimes people don't--

Or maybe they just won't--

See the errors of their ways and change.

 

Eventually, of course,

Sue filed for divorce,

Which wasn't unexpected or so strange.

 

Thomas cried real tears

And guzzled down his beers,

And after he had reached beer number ten,

 

He'd mention Sue, but we

Knew WHAT was meant to be,

And none of us ran into Sue again.

 

So what then is the lesson?

I won't keep you guessin'.

You can live a good life if you choose.

 

However, if the sauce

Takes over as your boss,

Then use your head and say good-bye to booze!

 

-by Bob B (7-23-23)