Hoarders Beware

A Poem by Bob B

When we delve into our past,

Stories of odd eccentrics abound.

Of course, you'll find them even today

If you dare to look around.

Have you heard of the Collyer brothers--

Two brothers of strange repute?

Homer and Langley were their names.

Their oddness one cannot refute.

Born in the late 1800s,

The two were only three years apart.

Although they were peculiar,

Both of them were rather smart.

Langley studied engineering

And chemistry; Homer, law.

When the family moved to Harlem,

They lived in a brownstone with ma and pa.

After their parents separated,

The two brothers chose to reside

With their mom and even continued

To stay there after their mother died.

The brothers had a strange compulsion

To collect stuff and even more stuff.

And when that happens, for many people,

There is never, ever enough.

They lived in "nests" that they had made

In debris that was piled as high as the ceiling.

Most of us couldn't comprehend

How the two could find that appealing.

Langley built booby traps in case

Inquisitive neighbors tried to break in.

People on the outside knew

That something strange was occurring within.

The brothers refused to pay their bills,

So naturally, it came to pass,

That they would have to make do without

Electric power, water, and gas.

The two had 25,000 books,

Mountains of papers and magazines,

Fourteen pianos, two organs--

Surely the most bizarre of scenes--

Baby carriages, bicycles,

Human organs pickled in jars,

Thousands of bottles, cats, banjos,

Chandeliers, and parts of cars.

Homer was found dead in an alcove.

He died of starvation and heart disease.

His matted gray hair hung down to his shoulders

And his head was resting on his knees.

Later, the body of Langley was found,

After a two-and-a-half-week lapse.

Apparently, he had been killed

By one of his own booby traps.

Over 120 tons

Of junk was removed from the brothers' dwelling.°

Incomprehensible!

And you can bet that it wasn't sweet smelling.

So hoarders beware. Listen to

The wake-up call before it's too late,

Lest you follow the path of the Collyer

Brothers and suffer a similar fate.

-by Bob B (10-24-21)

°Some sources say 140 tons.

© 2021 Bob B

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Reviews

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada

Omg I could only imagine the smell. And I bet the only pets they had were rats. Their corpses must have mummified in that environment. Looks like I'm going to start up on my spring cleaning early. This poem scared the hell out of me I gotta clean now.