Heaven's Catch 22

Enjoying the afternoon paper,

A man sat in the park.

He hoped to finish reading the news

Long before it grew dark.

 

A stranger holding a Bible

Broke the man's concentration

By asking, "Sir, are you concerned

About HEAVEN and your salvation?"

 

The man folded his paper

And calmly said, "I'll say this:

Going to heaven depends on with whom

I'm sharing the eternal bliss.

 

"Will Pat Robertson be there?

And Michele Bachmann, too?

I suppose that includes Ted Cruz and Paul Ryan."

The stranger said, "Hope so; don't you?"

 

"What about Rick Santorum,

Wayne La Pierre with his gun,

Palin, Boehner, Hannity, and Gohmert?"

"Wouldn't THAT," asked the stranger, "be fun?"

 

"Will the Koch brothers be there?

Fred Phelps and also Karl Rove?

Lindsey Graham and Cheney and Falwell?"

"You bet," said the stranger, "by Jove."

 

"If all of those people are going there,

And Rush Limbaugh shows up there as well,

That isn’t MY idea of paradise;

Give me a ticket to hell."

 

(11-18-14)