How I Love Retirement!

Don’t you just love retirement?

All that time to visit friends...

Time to take it easy, but

Of course that really all depends

On how you planned ahead back when,

On how you organize your time,

And most importantly, you know,

On how you wisely stretch that dime.

 

I thought I had it figured out

Till something knocked me off my bench.

Things always seem so easy until

Life throws in a monkey wrench.

Now all my projects are on hold--

All good intentions down the drain--

My daily calendar is full,

To deal with every ache and pain.

 

I see my dermatologist,

My gastroenterologist,

And my ophthalmologist,

Then my GP for great care.

I visit my psychiatrist,

And limp to my podiatrist.

Find an �"ologist or �"iatrist,

And you’ll probably find me there.

 

I had a frightful stomach ache;

They rushed me to emergency,

Where they scanned and stuck and jabbed

And pulled and poked and prodded me.

I cried, “Doc, please give me the news!

Did you find a lump or mass?”

“Well, my diagnosis shows

That you have...well, you’ve got gas!”

 

“You’re good to go,” he said to me.

So I got dressed, still feeling sore

From all the pokes and jabs I’d got

And, blushing, tooted out the door.

I got home feeling drained and weak.

Didn’t see the cat next to the car

And tripped and fell and broke my arm,

Ending up back in the E.R.

I see my dermatologist,

My gastroenterologist,

And my ophthalmologist,

Then my GP for great care.

I visit my psychiatrist,

And limp to my podiatrist.

Find an �"ologist or �"iatrist,

And you’ll probably find me there.

 

My back aches and my eyes are dry,

My shoulder hurts, my knee is sore,

My acid reflux burns my stomach,

My hip is killing me, what’s more,

My equilibrium is off.

I’m sure now that you get the gist

Of how my golden days are spent.

Add physical therapy to that list!

 

I see my dermatologist,

My gastroenterologist,

And my ophthalmologist,

Then my GP for great care.

I visit my psychiatrist,

And limp to my podiatrist.

Find an �"ologist or �"iatrist,

And you’ll probably find me there.

 

Don’t you just love retirement?

All that time to visit friends...

Time to take it easy, but

Of course that really all depends...

(3-23-14)