Wasting Wishes

This is a poem I wrote years ago about the loss of a loved one(s).

You’re gone with the wind
And my hearts on a spin
I hear the church bells ring
Darkness creeps into the room
And I know that I am doomed
When you’re lowered into the ground
I need some time to realize that you’re not around
My tears hit the pavement
I saw a shooting star in the moment

I keep wasting wishes on you
Every chance I get
Hoping they will come true
Then my heart will make it through the rain
This piercing pain
Already knows my name
I’m always blue
By wasting wishes on you

I wish you were still here
Because your house is so close near
It still feels like your around
When I see people walking in town
Its time to face the fact
That your death was a huge impact
There’s nothing left for me to do
When I lose
Then I pray
That you look after me every single day
Your flying with the angles
You’re my wish on every candle

I keep wasting wishes on you
Every chance I get
Hoping they will come true
Then my heart will make it through the rain
This piercing pain
Already knows my name
I’m always blue
By wasting wishes on you

I look up into the sky
And realize I can’t fly
When I get up their too
I’ll find you

Reviews

[Planet x]

I know that feeling
I know it so very well

[emipoemi]

"heart's IN a spin"
"I SEE a shooting star" (stay consistent with your tenses)
"close near".....get "close" outta there....no needed.
"Angels" not "angles"
Your = possessive; You're = you are
Some musicality issues in Stanza 1 that can be fixed by switching the "doomed" and "room" lines and adding/subtracting words accordingly. In fact, the "doomed" line could be reworded nicely to end with "doom" and be a perfect rhyme with "room" if you link it to the ringing of the bells.

But overall, this is beautiful. That refrain is 200% (utter perfection!!), and that "lose/pray" part of the second verse was brilliant!! Tweak this up a bit and you would have a genuine gem of a poem!! Well freaking done!

[Talia]

I knew It did need tweaking a little and I'll get to that. Thank you so much!! Glad you enjoyed!