Soul

A poem about having the courage to be more.

I want to walk
Run
Through the deepest forest

I want to ride
Chase
Every single back road

I want to swim
Dive
Into the open sea

I want to yell
Scream
From the highest mountain

I want to climb
Soar
Like a shooting star

I want that fire in my heart
Soul
Don't stop me now

Reviews

[emipoemi]

"dead sea" begs a lot of questions, mainly "how is it dead?" (If you intend to say the Dead Sea, though, that's a whole different story - lol - those questions are "why?" for you caint dive in there, it's too salty, you'll start floating before your waste goes in).

I love the flow of this, though. Very profound and powerful. Not sure if punctuation is your thing, which is fine - actually the lack of punctuation brings out the limitless quality of the message. But some carefully places dashes could also help with that AND heighten the aesthetic. Go with the Muses, I'm just spouting my two cents. You really don't need much of my help anymore.....I think my previous lessons on your earlier pieces have taken their place in your soul, and you are creating magic - I'm just nitpicking with intent to make you experiment more with a world of possibilities. But in the end it's your call (well, the Muses' call. Listen to what they're telling you. Collaboration is good - total control is bad).

The "dead sea" comment, though is in fact serious, as there's no antecedent for us to understand how it's dead, and everything else is happy and encouraging ("deepest forest", "highest mountain", "shooting star").

But well done overall! Much enjoyed.

[Talia]

Thanks, I have been learning a lot from you and this Website in general. I appreciate every bit of it.

I guess what I meant by ”dead sea” was being at peace alone. In a faraway serenity.

[emipoemi]

that's not the first meaning of "dead", so no one without context would go there at first read. Another word would be better suited. But not "dead". It sounds awesome there, but it doesn't fit. Not the time not place for it.

[Talia]

Yeah, I feel like in everything I write there is one line I always question. Haha, live and learn.

[emipoemi]

#FeelDon'tThink. Thinking elicits questions and misgivings. Feel! In feeling, you'd give yourself to the Muses and allow them to guide you. And if you let them guide you, you'll find the right words and strike gold every time.

[Talia]

I do agree. I always overthink. Haha

[Kent Rawski]

You use words to express your heightening of emotions through elevated physical activity. Perhaps creating a whirlwind effect would love to hear the calming effect before the storm and after

[Fairy Khan]

The desire of the humans to do all the things to their extremes in this one life is beautifully highlighted in this one. The simple use of words to explain your feelings is also great.

[Talia]

Thank you!

[Kesch (Finding Julia)]

I really enjoyed this write, found it deep. This is really good

[Vin]

I want to rise
and also to fall
It's only one life
and I want to do it all
Soul Don't stop me now!!

Such a great piece-it made my morning. I will take a xerox and paste on my wall.
Sending all my love:)

[Talia]

Wow, thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it!