Vita Inconsccio

It's sad when a person dreads their desires, because they desire what others may dread.

Vita Inconscio

Act I

With eyes closed

And lands shut out

Her mind finds new life

From a dull day

She opens her eyes to her favorite fake

Her heart beats faster with excitement

As her mind wonders of the games she’ll play

The air smells of agony

Of medium rare screams

The clouds are dark and ominous

And the sky a blue of almost black

Cars overturned and on fire

Limbs still a flame

She can only image the beauty of the horror she’d missed

Mountains of dying life

Each person trying hard to get to the top

To not be buried by the corpses

She chuckles

Human life seemed amusing

But the end of any story is still the best part

Her hands are warm and sticky

Her eyes look closer to see the wine of all creation

Dripping through her fingers

But without a care

She focuses on another sense

Through burning hell she smells meat

Slowly rotting 

She knows she must not wait too long

She turns to see the decaying carcass

She knew who had harmed this fellow creature

And she was proud

The face she’d seen

But didn’t care

She didn’t feel like naming her meal

Her knees hit the ground

Sticky from the red pools

Oozing off the mountains

But her eyes stayed focused 

On the red meat

Hanging from the cage holding life’s robot

Her mouth watered

Thinking of the raw entrée

Covered in the sauce of veins residents

She lowered her head slowly

Wanting to savor every minute

The first bite was an organism of delights

She titled her head back

Letting the blood run down her throat

Coating the outside of her chin and mouth

The meat was tender

As she slowly devoured it

Her eyes grew wide

The food was a drug

She shut her eyes

To allow a moan to creep through her body

Just before her body could start aching

With the yearning of another bite

But this was wrong 

She hated the pleasure she felt

She closed her eyes 

To see another fake

One where dread and desire were not allies

Act II

She slowly opened her eyes

Awakened by the smell of past rain

This world was as dark as the first

She looked to either side

Bricks as cold as the air stood

Cemented together

Her gaze walked down the alley

Till it hit a dark mass

The male version of her species

Dressed in black and very handsome

The figure crept slowly towards her

She stood strong

As though she knew him

And she’d felt it 

The lust in the air 

Lust so strong

Fear stood in its place

Anyone would have run

Would have screamed

But death doesn’t like to be cheated

She didn’t want to be taken for weak

If he wanted to take her

To take her to the other side

She was going out on her own terms

Her blood ran cold

As he touched her cheek

She closed her eyes slowly 

Letting out a sigh that

Barely left her lips 

She could feel his breath

Probing her neck

Going slowly up

Until the warmth stopped

Near her tingling lips 

Trembling from desire

She opened her eyes

To see black holes within sockets

Of sorrow and lost dreams

Goosebumps slowly coated her arms

As an icy shiver

Ran up her spine

She bit her lip

So soft her lips

She pictured her blood was trickling off

But no drops spilled

He was only a head taller

The mask barely seen

He kissed her forehead

So gentle and so light

She wanted him

To stay in death's comfort

The ones used

To take so many away

But what person

Had even fallen for death

Let him hold them forever

She let a tear run down her cheek

As she closed her eyes in farewell 

To see another fake 

One where life was not with death

Act III

The sound of wind 

Howling through the trees

But that wasn’t what

She focused on

She could hear the sound

Of leaves and branches breaking

Someone was running

Away from her

She turned to her left

To see the frightened female

She could hear her cry

Crying for mercy 

This only fueled her hunger

She took off after the girl 

The game played for centuries

Still she’d never seen

The prey outrun the predator

The girl ran into an open field

Trying to scramble towards the cabin

Perched on the hill

But this mouse couldn’t hide

Not from the cat

She loved this game

She wanted to enjoy the moment

Hiding in the trees

She watched the mouse 

Run inside its safe place

Or so it thought

She slowly walked towards the house

She couldn't hear a noise 

She knew this showed nothing

Nothing except fear

Walking to the door

She slowly opened it

She wanted the girl to be afraid 

The more she played

The better the meal

She saw the girl

Curled up in the corner

She slowly trudged towards the girl

She kneeled down 

The girl stared up

They looked into each other’s eyes

The girl pleaded for life

She was too hungry to listen

She slowly grabbed the girl’s arm

Almost in peace

She raised the flesh to her mouth

Quick as the silent night

She ripped the meat off the bone

The girl’s of screams were music 

Entertainment for the feast

She knew her excitement was wrong 

So again she shut out the pleasure

To find another fake world

One where pain was not a game

Act IV

She opened her eyes 

Her first notice were pools

Pools of beautiful blue

They were eyes

The host smiled 

His smile unforgettable

She couldn’t help but smile back

He was handsome

The jet-black ending above his eyes

Pale and Muscular

She could see little light shinning

Through the shades on the window

She wiggled her head

For comfort on the pillow

She could feel the silk

Of the night gown

Wrapped around her

The sheets were just the same

She could see his bare chest

With his legs above the blanket

She could see his gray sweats

Yet the comfort was not with

The materials warmth

The warmth of him near

Was almost the sun’s fire

She looked back

The feeling produced

Was stronger

Than two swans entwined necks

She could tell he’d been awake

Watching her sweetly

He lifted his hand

Up to her face

She closed her eyes

When skin touched skin

Taking in a deep breath

She let a sigh soar out

Same as she felt

When she opened her eyes

She saw him still

Looking and smiling

She got closer

She went to rest her hand

On his beating chest

She grew surprised

When her hand went through

His eyes grew sad

And she then knew

He was only an apparition

A love she could never feel

He tried to smile

To calm her down

But her thoughts kept wondering

She would never get him

Not like others get their love

He had her close her eyes

He wiped away her tears

He put his arm around her

And she drifted back to the real

The one where she’d never be happy

Act V

She opened her eyes

Tears flowing immediately

She saw only the real world

No creative land

That lay in the back of her mind

The pain

The agonizing pain

Not something that could be explained

Such a horrible pain

The only cure

Was to numb it

She felt the tears

Created by years

Not so much from hurt

But from trying

Struggling to make them

Comfortable

Trying to make them

Love her 

She wasn’t right

She wasn’t like them

She knew that

The knowledge of that

Is what hurt

She changed for them

Pushing beautiful lands

To the back of her mind

The pain of a million worlds

On her shoulders

Alone

They have no idea

How much she hurts

Just so they

Will love her

Will be comfortable around her

The tears she felt

Running down her face

Was her only comfort

To tell these stories

Not of physical life 

The stories she sees

Would only put them in awe

She smiled

To think of the beauty

The mystery

The horror 

Such interesting tales

Yet they were scared

Scared of the unknown

The different

The changed

She had to suit them

Still the pain

Pain from changing herself

Her only salvation

When she was alone

To go to those lands

Though every land

She feels ashamed

Not even her happy places

Were happy again

She spent her time

Going through those lands

Trying to find a happy place

She knows others would like

Would find normal

Yet again 

She only saw her own

Her own happy places

Lands she loved

And again

She was ashamed

If only they knew

How hard she worked

How much she yearned

To fit in

To be loved

Like the others

The others who were

Normal

The word that carried

So much weight

The word that rang through her mind

But she could never understand

This word alone

Has changed her

Once a bubbly, young girl

Now a monster

Containing unimaginable

Pain

Losing her everything

Author's Note

I wrote this in my spare time so it is rough. There was honestly a bit more, but it got a bit too personal. I hope it hit some good notes.