The Keeper of Time

Time never stops and we often forget that its there at all. It can preoccupy us or it can vanish completely.

The pendulum waved on my dear grandfather clock.

It spoke its usual, fair and timeless words, “tick-tock.”

It housed it’s pendulum inside its glass womb.

It was tall and tense looking, like an ancient tomb.

Hearing it brought me fear and apprehension.

Louder it ticked and tocked in dark tension.

“Quiet now for I am trying to go to sleep!”

Tick tock, tick tock, it was almost a weep.

My dear grandfather clock simply was and will be.

Nothing can stop its time, nothing, you will see.

 

Tick tock, tick tock, it just wouldn't stop at all!

It was speaking in its uniquely steady call.

Tall, brooding, and sulking, look at it there.

It called to me, but I was simply unaware.

Oaken all over, with twisting carves in its sides.

The gold decorated it like rolling ocean tides.

Still it grew louder, even at this quiet hour.

It had something, some mystical power.

I could not sleep, no matter how hard I tried.

Tick tock, tick tock, I could have almost cried.

 

Again I could hear the ticking, its own dark calling.

It spoke again, just as into sleep I was falling.

Tick tock, tick tock, I could not escape the sound.

Again, why did this clock not need to be wound?

I haven’t heard the bells in what felt like ages.

Surely this clock must have sounding stages?

I began to fear, loathe, tremble and despair.

But when did this gray get in to my hair?

“I do not understand you, why do you call?”

Tick tock, tick tock, nothing, and nothing at all.

 

The pendulum waved on my dear grandfather clock.

It spoke its dark, maddening and timely works “tick-tock.”

“That’s it! I’ll burn you down to the ground!”

It just stared, not making any other sound.

The fire had started; the entire house began to burn.

It was done now, no need for any more concern.

But what is this, I cannot even make sense!

It was still there, dark, oaken, and tense.

“What are you, foul demon, the grim reaper?”

“No, friend, time must always have a keeper.”

Reviews

[naznaz]

Hi!

This is a really amazing piece of work!

I love these sort of peculiar poems, and I think the speech used within the poem was a really good addition, as it really enhanced a very good poem, to an amazing one!

The end two lines are perhaps my most favourite and overall I loved all the maddening tick-tock-ing.

I have no criticisms.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Wow. I honestly don't know what to say. Thank you so much. Really. Thank you.

[NA]

Oh I love this...it was quite dark and menacing taunting you as you tried to sleep...awesome job! enjoyed :) x

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you very much. Glad that you enjoyed it.

[Stella Armour]

what a fantastic turn at the end...and i love ticking clocks . A good flow you have all the way through Trevor...

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you very much for taking the time to review this.

[Stella Armour]

you are very welcome..

[kublakhan27]

This harkens back to an old era of writing, when rhyme and rhythm was everything...I really enjoyed this piece, great work.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

I'm pretty influenced by that era, so I guess that's where most of this came from. Thanks for reading it.

[Luke L]

Great foreboding piece, very Edgar Alan Poe-esc

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Much appreciated. Thank you for reading.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This was a heavy write...emotionally, you dealt with a lot of issues in this one, and though the length was a bit daunting (in terms of actual length and line length), the detail did not fade or get lost. I enjoy the way that you started the piece, with the grandfather clock and the aspect of time, and the finish was perfect, because you are right, "time must always have a keeper". There was a story here, and I followed every word of it. Great imagery.

Technically--
I'm wondering if you couldn't cut down a little on the wordiness...just in terms of the line length. Example:

My dear grandfather clock simply was and will be.
Nothing can stop its time, nothing, you will see.
vs.

My dear grandfather clock, was and will be.
Nothing can stop time, nothing, you will see.

It's not much, but a word here or there may help the flow just a little bit in terms of the steadiness of the words.

Please do not take my suggestions as me not praising you, because I truly liked this one. You have talent.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

No, no, no, please. I do not mind at all. I want to hear what people have to say about what I write. Thank you very much for the criticism. I think that eventually I will revise just about everything that I have written (including this). Thanks again.

[Ronald J Chapman]

“What are you, demon, the black angel, the grim reaper?”
“No, my friend, but you see, time must always have a keeper.”

And his name is the Doctor.

Who??????

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Hahha. Very nice.

[Mark]

An interesting concept. A little bit Edgar Allen Poe. I have to admit, though, by the time I got to the third stanza, it started to get tedious... you pounded the concept pretty well. The first line in the last stanza also struck me as odd. The narrator refers to 'my dear grandfather clock'. Yet the thing is obviously not very dear to him.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

I disagree. it is dear to him in a more sarcastic way. I was going for that, but to be honest, I feel like it was lost. It's not a big deal, nothing central to the poem itself. Thank you for your criticisms, my friend.

[Baby Ricochet]

Einstein said time was relative. Like it doesn't move at the same speed the closer you get to light speed. Today I was in the VA for hours waiting on a prescription and time dragged. Time during wicked hot sex on the other hand just flies by. I want to perform an experiment and have sex at the VA while they dick around with my paper work and see if it doesn't make them straighten it out any faster. What's the worst that can happen?

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Hahahah. A pretty unique experiment to try. I wish you the best?

[Ronald J Chapman]

Should I say it? hah hah hah "Time flies when you are having fun" :)

[Angi]

This was a cool piece! The last line had me seeing that clock rise up into its power. Nicely done! Angi~

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you for taking the time to review this!

[Angi]

It was my pleasure!