This One is For You

A Chapter by T

I hope you remember I didn’t just walk away; “And you let me leave. And then wish I’d stayed. And you almost killed me. But I didn’t die.” And I also want you to know; “And you looked liked everything I wanted. And then became something I hated” (Anonymous). And this one is for you because I’m still standing although, I don’t want to.
Let me break things down for you:
Perfection. Noun: the condition, state, or quality of being free or, (as free as possible) from all flaws or defects. That’s how I’d describe what we had. I remember laying there thinking to myself, “this is all way too good to be true” I was right. You were too good to be true. But I still didn’t walk away.
Do you remember that night? Standing in the drive-way. I knew you didn’t feel the same and it scared me. I was shaking; you were breathing heavy. You held on tight and I looked up. We knew it was over. We didn’t cry. We didn’t speak our language; we spoke like friends. How awful. But I told you I didn’t walk away. You let me go.
Breaking away broke me. We touched until the last second we could. First our lips, our bodies, and lastly our finger came un-intertwined and tips parted. I turned from you. You were supposed to say something. You should have stopped me. Grabbed my arm. Told me to wait. You weren’t supposed to watch me. I didn’t walk away. You, you let me go.
Now look at what you’ve done. I’ve forgotten how to breathe.
You said you needed time. So I gave you time. Time. Noun: the indefinite continued progress of existence. I heard about your “time” today. You’re suffering. You can’t figure out how to breathe. You forgot how much you needed me. You wished I’d stayed. But I didn’t leave... you let me go.
Do you know what you did to me? You almost killed me. Kill. Verb: put an end to or cause the failure or defeat of (something). You almost killed my favorite parts of me. You stabbed at my heart, gut, soul, my head. You almost kill me because you let me go. But I didn’t die.
Did I break that down enough for you? Don’t you understand yet? Incase you don’t:
You looked liked everything I want(ed). Want. Verb: have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for. You were nothing like I ever searched for. Your eyes were the perfect shade of blue or green. Your smile. That smiled healed the wounded and me. Your touch sent currents down my skin. Started fires in my lungs. And your perspectives. Those were worth dying for. And you looked like everything that I wanted.
Hate. Noun: intense or passionate dislike. Now you’re everything I need(ed). Your eyes grew grey. Your smirk broke me down. Ripped open my soul. Your fingers felt like bullets or maybe knives. My lungs collapsed and yet again. I have forgotten how to breath. Your perspectives became mine. You looked liked everything I wanted. But you became something that I hated.
Now you have to understand:
I’m still standing although I don’t want to.
This chapter is by the girl who has never been a fan of heartbreaks. This relates to situations teenagers face everyday. Heartbreak. But no matter what happens, no matter who leaves first… it hurts. Bad. Sometimes it even “kills” parts of you. But you won’t die. You can survive. Survival is always an option for (most) parts of you.