Crush'd

I'm not even sure why I try anymore.

I know you're just being nice,

I guess I can't help myself.

Any small thing you say to me

really, truly, it brightens my day.

I know you're just being nice.

It really isn't all that nice,

the false hope I get every time we speak.

I'm not even sure why I try anymore.

I guess I can't help myself,

it's like I need you to function,

in small doses, once a day.

This is going nowhere,

but sometimes,

I think I'm okay with that.

Author's Note

Wrote this fairly quickly, not sure how I feel about it yet. Title is (most likely) temporary.

Reviews

[Ees]

I like the concept. Everybody has been there. We (hopefully) like nice people- and then we know that they don't like us that way, but we can't help ourselves! It is familiar to me!

In the second line of the second stanza, I think you prob meant "my day" instead of "me day". I have been know to speak that way, but people usually just give me stares and I don't think that you were exactly going for humor in this piece so it is prob a typo.

I like the ending. A lot. Being okay with that, you at least have those small doses.
Great job!

Now I am going to tell you a story that doesn't have much to do with your poem, but it has to do with some of the sentiments. (Maybe he isn't just being nice). When I was in 8th grade I started at a new school in a new town and there was this boy there that I just fell for. The school that I came from before that was odd. I was made fun of for having too nice of clothes and for liking Janis Joplin. My new school... well I fit in instantly, but I wasn't used to it. So when this boy would be nice to me, I didn't take it seriously. He was just trying to be nice. We went to high school and continued on in the same manor. I had a crush, he was nice, he was cute, he did things for me... After high school we went our separate ways. I saw him at a party or two, I saw him at a phish concert once, when he picked me up off of the ground- after he got out of the military.... a few more years pass, some dorky middle aged guy walks into where I work and says that he knows somebody that I went to school with. He was being kind of sketchy about it at first, then he said his name, and I exclaimed, "Oh! I love him!" at which point the dude finally cracks a smile and says: "you know what he told me, actually? He said that he's loved you since he first laid eyes on you in 8th grade."

The moral of my story? Maybe he's not just being nice. You don't want to wait years and find out you could have been having fun all of that time! Just go for it, you might be surprised!

[Taylor]

Ah, didn't even catch that I said me day haha. I'll definitely change that! And unfortunately, I am positive he's just being nice. I told him I liked him a while ago and he said he never really saw me as anything more than a friend. I also attempted to ask him to homecoming (after a friend badgered me about it) and he rejected me. But hopefully with the next guy I will be surprised! And thank you for the review!

[Ees]

No problem.
Well at least you know for sure. I thought I did too. Of course somebody lovely will come along and he'll enthralled by you and vice versa and you'll simply forget about this guy.

But in the meantime, write poetry about it, because you better put the feelings to use! You're good at it too!

[Taylor]

That's true. Not knowing is a truly awful thing. But thank you again! I definitely plan to continue writing about it. :)

[Allendorker]

I like the title. It's relevant. This is very relatable - especially the last two stanzas. I know you're in pain, but I really hope you continue venting it through writing, because it's sadly beautiful. Very truthful.

[Kenaz]

Simple and lovely; a fine example of poetry. Smiling at the last line as well. Me day>my day as previously mentioned.

[Taylor]

Thank you! And I'm just about to change that.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

This is something I can totally relate to. Really good, I especially love how you ended it with "This is going nowhere,
but sometimes,
I think I'm okay with that"
Great job

[Taylor]

Thank you! c:

[Sarah G.]

Wow, this is really good! I enjoyed reading it and I can totally relate to this poem.
One thing though,
"...it's like I need you to function." That sounds a bit weird like she needs him to function and not that she needs him so that she could function. Maybe change it a bit?
But other than that, it's great! :)

[Taylor]

When I edit this i'll definitely think of that. Thank you!