lost and outta love

to my ex

there is no where left to go
i have laid it all on the line
... to make you see how i love you
you never realized who i was before
i took a chance to be all i could
that wasnt enough for you
when i looked in your eyes i could see
there was nothing for me but i let it go
i thought wed be together forever
now i as i look in to the world
theres nothing the leaves have lost there color
the sun has faded away in to the sky
the sky is no longer blue its grey
there is nothing no life that is beautiful
i never saw those colors till i had you
now that your half way gone and i stand on this mountain
wondering if i should chase you or let you go
maybe it was me theres now where left
i have gave all i could and maybe you dont see that im so alone
i never thought it would ever end this way
now the world is so dead and un beautiful
the smile on my face cant be seen

Reviews

[Daniel88Batson]

Some lovely images are being lost here because your telling us how the character feels directly. Lines like this are fantastic: 'the sun has faded away in to the sky,
the sky is no longer blue its grey'. But I don't feel that I can take something from this because you've told me how to feel in the many lines previous. Build on your images and we will feel your character more than if you spoon feed them to us.

P.S. What a line: 'i never saw those colors till i had you' YUM!

[sivan]

good piece... very common feeling.. but one needs to realise that it is within oneself that acceptance is found... and only by living for yourself will you ever be truely content

[Rene Velez]

Great piece Taylor.

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad and powerful poem of how can down us down. Sometime take time to get-up and be strong. I like the direct and honest words in this poem. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Life Is like Trust...It..]

Beautiful. Many people may be able to relate. Maybe if you could correctly cap. and indent it would be perfect.