hey you.

this is just a rant.

ask me what's up. 

"what's up?"

my ceiling and it's caving in

these thoughts and feelings have no end

like falling through a deep abyss

the days these day are hit and miss

but like a rabbit in the snow

ill lie and wait but then i'll go

from all the things that i once feared

and i wont stop until i'm in the clear

but i promise you dad 

that i wont become what you became 

because i have these dreams

and i wont stop until they become reality

and i don't need drugs

to give the things i say anymore substance then they already have

and the more i think the more it makes me mad

because all you have to do is open your ears and listen to what i have to say

and maybe the things i say can brighten up your day

or maybe they could change the way you live and pray

or maybe, just maybe they could make you feel indifferent

and you can pop those pills

and you can smoke that weed

and i'll sit back 

and watch you recede 

into that empty shell of the person you used to be

Reviews

[Deck_As_Heck]

wow. you just like explained my life and how i feel. Thank you for sharing.

[wirte4me]

Amazingly written..Great meaning and It's deep..I really like it..

[smalltownsympathies]

I like this poem!
"my ceiling and it's caving in
these thoughts and feelings have no end
like falling through a deep abyss"

My favorite lines, as well as the last four lines at the end.
You have fantastic, haunting ideas. I feel as though, however, your ideas grow much farther than the whole rhyme scheme that you've presented in a couple of your poems, have you ever tried getting away from it? Try one, maybe you'll find yourself writing marvelous things with no constrictions.
Great job :)

[.]

. brilliantly written and presented ... very moving too ... those dreams are the best thing to happen to anybody ...

[Lola Nation]

very lyrical