In Your Absence I Learned

You never told me he was with you

He still breaks my heart

I still love him

Everything he brings up about other girls

It stabs me

Breaks me down

Makes me hate life even more

It pushes me closer to wanting to just die

You noticed I was upset

I know you tried your best

In that parking lot

To make him go inside

To talk to me

For you are the only one I can talk to

But like I have learnt from your absence

I pushed away when he wouldn't go away

You tried your best to get me alone

He wouldn't let you though

You said what is wrong

Just before I was about to speak

His presence was caught in the corner of my eye

So again I pushed away

You pulled up to my house

I got out and almost walked away without a goodbye

In the back of my mind I was wondering of if I should bother to try

You turned and say you didn't like that I wouldn't talk to you

In your absence I learned what all loners do

They push people away

They keep it inside

They wait until they are alone to cry

They hide cuts

They know how to act when on meth

They see tiny details others miss

They always keep distant

I couldn't talk to you

When you were gone

Left my life

2 long months 

Thinking suicide

All along and all alone

Without Anyone to talk to

Loosing trust in you...