Jaded

...wanting for that comfort... knowing it will never be there

    

darkness surrounding my bed.

I lay.

eyes staring.

the night like a blanket, covers my soul and ears as to not hear your deafening silence.

freezing in the blistering heat, I search for comfort in my own arms,

but my rocking doesn't feel as good as yours.

how can I pretend to not be jaded?

the bareness of the discomfort against me as i search into the night.

wondering what secrets of mine you knew, silently kept, silently let slip by undetected.

are you there?

i've often wondered in the stillness if you could hear my thoughts.

or feel my love if i tried hard enough to connect with you.

some unspoken communication.

but you keep me far away, like an unwanted image.

stubborn.

for I keep creeping, wanting, pleading, wet faced and small.

how do I accept you for who you are? when I so want you to want to be different....

for me.