That Night

A Story by tattooedmoon

This is not my story, but ours.

That Night

This is not just my story. This is a story of us and the night that I thought I LOST HIM. Let me start by stating the date: August 26, 2018, Sunday. It was 11:30 pm when I saw the message from him; Telling me that he’s outside of my sister’s house. Let me tell you a little back story…

I blocked his number and his Instagram account. I know it sounds petty but it was the only way that I know how to avoid him. Of course, he tried to contact me using a different number, but when my phone rings my heart skip a beat. I knew that it was him calling. I ignored it and ignored it some more. I was so sure that I will not talk to him for the reason that I cannot tell you now (maybe later) because when I think about it, it sounds so childish, pathetic and at the same time it makes me sad. Anyway, now back to the moment that I read his message. I was hesitant to go and check if he’s really outside, but in my heart of hearts I know I had to.

There he was riding in a white horse ready to sweep me off of my feet (just kidding). He’s there sitting in his car waiting for me to come outside for more than 30mins. When I get inside of his car I asked him, “Why are you here?”

My sister’s place is an hour and a half to where he lives, that is if you drive fast enough normally it is a two-hour drive. I knew that he came straight from his work because he’s not comfortable wearing that long sleeves polo shirt and black pants (so corporatey if that’s even a word) and yet there he was; sitting trying not to lose his cool. I was also trying, trying to avoid any eye contact because I cannot bear the pain in his eyes and I don’t want him to see that I am crumbling inside. After a moment of silence, he asked. “Why? I know you decided to end this, but I think I deserve to know why. You were ok the night before and all of a sudden you sent me that message. You didn’t even let me reply, you just blocked me. I have tried everything to get in touch with you. At least let me know why?”.

Why?�"one of the shortest question and yet it is one of the most difficult questions to answer. My eyes started to water even before I speak. It’s like a heavy rain in the summer night that I cannot control. “I cannot take the pain anymore. When I think about how we started to where we are right now I cannot help but to think that you no longer feel the same way about me like you used to; that I will not be as important as others to you; that I will always be your last priority”. And then I finally said it in between my sobs while I desperately wipe my tears away.

It was a long and hard conversation. And if I am being honest I would rather forget every single word that has been said. I told him a lot of hurtful things and I regretted it as soon as I said it. The last thing I remember was me walking away from the car without looking back. I was determined that it was over. Vince and I are done and all that’s left is our memories together. How dramatic right? In a way, I think I’m addicted to drama featuring me and my dramatic lines.

As I walk aimlessly, I can hear my heartbeat and I can feel the pain in every step that I am making. After a few minutes, I stopped, sat in the gutter and cried some more. It was getting late and I knew that my sister is already worried because I was gone far too long. With a heavy heart, I muster the courage to drag myself back into the house. But before I get a chance to go inside of the house, I noticed that Vince’s car is still in the driveway. I knocked at the passenger’s window. He rolled it down and he told me that he can never leave me. He will wait for me even if it takes until 6:00 in the morning or until he realized that it’s really over. I open the passenger’s door sat and I cried. I hold his hand and I cried harder than I used to. He put his left arm over my back while holding my right hand. I hold him tightly like I was holding on to my dear life. I really thought it was over. I thought I lost him forever and then he said, “I will not give up on you. I will not give up on us”.

And so our love story continues; I cannot promise that everything will be easy and I will not be dramatic because let’s face it, sometimes ‘b*****s be crazy’.

I decided to write this story to remind myself of that night; the night that I almost lost the love of my life for no reason. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that being in a serious relationship is not easy, but as long as both of you are not giving up (just like Vince and me) all the tears will turn into laughter. That night taught me a few things: 1 communicate even if it’s not easy because bottling up thoughts and feelings can lead to a cocoo state of mind. 2 giving up and walking away isn’t always the answer. 3 appreciate the LOVE that has been given to you. It doesn’t matter if he cannot say those words on a daily basis. As long as he makes you feel that you’re loved and you’re not alone.

I am lucky to have him in my life. Even if I don’t know what our future will look like. I know in my heart that letting him be a part of my life is the best decision that I have ever done.