Please don't call it my town I just live there

 I live in a town so small you can go from up-town to down-town...just by turning around ...where the newspaper is a pamphlet that comes out once a month...mostly about people who couldn't wait to get out...it's called "The Obituaries" but I know I saw Mrs. Lacey sneaking out of town real early one morning....a place where the only gun restriction is that you don't point it at your waitress.... where Andy Griffith goes to get away from it all...a town so small they still sell penny candies...you have to buy them by the dozen...and you only get four but.......where the only store sells guns & beer next to diapers & Viagra.....I remember this one time ...the whole town lost power....somebody tripped over the cord.... the mayor drives the school bus...we had a riot one time...two people went home for lunch...leaving me all alone....we had the same homecoming queen three years straight...time for a new one...if she graduates...where the closest hospital is so far away they usually just go to the cemetery...and wait....and the school is right next door....so you can see your future....a town so small you can look out your window and see who all your neighbors are doing...where everybody knows everything about everybody...unless you are new here like me...and I keep to myself....a town so small all the women's periods have synced up and for a few days a month they change the name to "Red River Valley"......someday my name is going to be on that pamphlet...one way or the other.

Reviews

[roarke]

yep, it's like that, all of that. I live in a very similar town. Terry you've penned a great impressionistic portrait of your town, and added your own character and verve to it's telling. I think that's what comes from small towns, and as funny, or backwoods as it my seem, it sure beats the heck out of reading headlines about LARGE cities.... I think your town should make a nice plaque of this write. Very nice.

[terry smith]

hahahaha...the one wall has the welcome sign on it....

[roarke]

heh, my town has trophy heads mounted around the grocery store walls....

[terry smith]

no wonder my bobblehead collection looks so weird...

[B]

Never under estimate small towns
they usually hold the kindest people
and the kindest people hold the most power on earth

the power to influence others
and make the world a better place

i come from an even smaller town
but they are the most powerful people in egypt
they speak so little
when its time for them to utter a word

everyone listens

[terry smith]

hey you are supposed to be resting your eyes!!:)

[B]

i was then i saw the moon
out the window
so i stopped resting

[terry smith]

I need to write a poem about the moon:)

[B]

apparently the moon and sun follow me
in this house

[terry smith]

:)................

[B]

what is the name of your town