Chapter Fifteen

I spend Saturday morning by the lake. Eddie had already left his bed when I crept out of the dormitory and, the cowardly part of me rejoices in this fact. However, I know that I will have to face both Charles and Eddie again at some point. I don’t feel like going for a ride so instead I stride around the rose garden, still dressed in my black velvet ball gown and pearls. Eventually, other people surface and begin to sit on the lawn, relating their tales of what they did last night to one another. However, the rose garden remains so quiet that I wonder whether anyone actually knows that it exists. Once or twice, I think that I hear the bitter crunch of footsteps on gravel but, by the time I look up, whoever was once there is gone.

Eventually, when the sun reaches its full height, the bell rings, calling us all to lunch and from lunch to lessons. I resolve not to be a coward and to walk into the hall and sit with Eddie as though nothing has happened. I square my shoulders and stalk through the doors, forcing myself not to look up at the high table where I know Charles will be sitting. Poppy and Eddie are deep in conversation but, when I walk over to them, they stop talking immediately. Even Scarlett looks up from her untouched plate of food when I sit down next to Eddie. Surprisingly, Poppy recovers from the shock of seeing me first.

“Good afternoon, Elizabeth,” She says after a lengthy pause, “I didn’t see you much last night. How was the ball?”

“It was wonderful. The last time I saw you, you were dancing the night away with Pete.” I say tonelessly, willing her to ask me about what happened in the rose garden.

“Indeed,” Replies Poppy, “Eddie here told me that the pair of you spent most of the night dancing together.”

“Yes, we did.” I confirm.

“But that near the end of the ball, you began dancing with Charles.” She looks at me as though waiting for confirmation but when I offer none, she ploughs forwards. “He also said that you left with Charles.”

“Poppy-“ Pete begins, laying his hand on her arm warningly. She shakes him off and continues.

“Eddie also said that he later found you in the arms of Charles Grey.” She says. Scarlett rolls her eyes.

“Poppy, we all know what happened.” Scarlett says, her tone slightly more lively than it has been for days.

“Well, excuse me for trying to confirm it.” Poppy huffs.

“And does Eddie have anything to say for himself?” Scarlett asks, turning to Eddie.

“No,” He says shortly, “I have nothing to say to her.”

And with that, he turns his back on me. Poppy and Pete make a couple of attempts to make conversation but, the rest of lunch passes in silence until I can’t bear it any longer and walk out, leaving them to discuss and dissect every word I have ever said.

The noticeboard tells me that I’m supposed to be going to training this afternoon. I sigh in relief; at least I won’t have to see Eddie there. Over the past couple of training sessions, I’ve been learning how to speak and act like an American. You know, because, I’ve got to pretend to be one. Usually, I have Julie but, this time when I walk into the dark room, I notice that it isn’t Julie sitting at the desk but the man who I nicknamed wolf.

“Elizabeth,” He says as I walk in,” Have a seat.” He indicates to the slightly reclined chair which I perch on. “Well, it has been decided that, as you have been with us at The Cottage for over a week now, you are ready to go out into the world as Elizabeth Hitches.” He pauses to shuffle a pile of papers in front of him. “You will, of course, maintain your physical training schedule whilst you are out on active service. “

“Where will I be going?” I ask, my heart beating faster than usual.

“We have secured a house befitting the status of Elizabeth Hitches as well as an apartment in Londonderry.”

“Two houses?” I say wonderingly. I haven’t had a house to live in since I was ten. “What am I supposed to do?” I ask.

“You will wait until we give you instructions either through another agent or by letter.” He tells me, “You must remember who you are supposed to be at all times.”

“And if I don’t?” I ask although I think I already know the answer.

He smiles, “I think you know the answer to that.” He stands up and hands me the pile of papers. “This is your brief,” He says, “Study it and be ready to become Elizabeth Hitches at six am tomorrow.”

He walks out of the room, leaving me to digest the facts of my new identity. I scan the first page. My birthday has been kept the same; I was still born on the 12^th of September 2543. My parents were called Stephen and Georgina Hitches although my mother’s maiden name was O’Neil. Both of my parents were killed in an explosion on the 19^th May 2550, leaving me the heir to my father’s mining fortune. I was raised by mother’s only brother, Patrick O’Neil in Atlanta where I lived until I decided to visit Britain to see what life is like under the new regime. My uncle is currently living in my house in Atlanta with his wife, Catherine O’Neil and their son, Johnny O’Neil. I have always loved to ride horses and my first pony was called Lorenzo. I met my grandmother on my mother’s side once before she died of a heart attack on the 17^th September 2544. My maternal grandfather was killed in a mining accident before I was born on the 22^nd August 2534. Both of my paternal grandparents died in an epidemic in 2537. I am currently learning how to speak Italian and I hope to help the government to extend its regime to America and the rest of the world. I was educated at home and so I had very few friends in Atlanta except a neighbour called Lillian Brant who was born the day before me in the same year.

The rest of the papers are legal documents, such as passports and the deeds to my house which is called Park Manor. My apartment is the penthouse apartment in a large block of flats in Londonderry.

When I’m done, I make my way to Charles’ office to tell him that, as of tomorrow, I will be a rich American heiress. He’s stood by the window, glaring out at the dark grey clouds which hover ominously in the sky. He turns around when he hears me opening the door, his eyes wide.

“Rebecca,” He says flatly, “How may I help you?”

“I’m here to say goodbye.” I say abruptly.

“Yes, I did hear that you were going out on active service.” He tells me, “I said that you weren’t ready but, they were adamant.”

“Well I am ready.” I say forcefully, trying to make myself believe it.

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” He asks, raising his eyebrows.

“In truth, I do not know.” I admit, slumping into the chair opposite his desk, “I have been here for little over a week and already I have to leave.”

“Will you miss it?” He asks, perching on the end of the desk.

“Certain aspects,” I admit, “I’ll miss the horses and the food…”

“Will you miss Eddie?”

“As harsh as it may seem, no. In truth, I am almost eager to get away from him,” I sigh, “He is a little put out at the moment.”

“Yes,” he says smoothly, “Finding his girlfriend in the arms of someone else might have been somewhat vexing.”

“I was not his girlfriend.” I say, glaring at him.

“Weren’t you?”

“Girlfriend implies that he owned me.” I say stiffly. “Nobody owns me.” I add, looking out of the window.

“Yes, I didn’t think you were Eddie’s type, to be honest,” he says, “or rather, Eddie wasn’t your type.”

“What’re you trying to say?” I snap.

“Will you miss me?” He blurts out, fiddling with the pen in front of him.

“I think that I shall miss you most of all.” I tell him.

He clears his throat. “And I shall miss you too.” He says, his cheeks flushing bright red. “Who else will beat up Isla for me?”

“Well, I could always ask to take Isla with me as she is so very fond of me”

“Yes,” he says, smiling slightly, “That would be one way to ensure I never have to suffer through Isla’s flirtation ever again.”

“She flirts with you?” I ask sharply, sitting up straighter in the chair.

“Yes,” He says, “And very badly. I’m not a fan of girls who flirt. I tend to prefer girls who hate me.”

“I don’t hate you as such-“

“Who said I preferred you?”

“Well then, I have other goodbyes to say.” I snap, rising from the chair and making my way to the door.

“Wait.” He says, crossing the room and laying a hand on the doorknob. He kisses me once on the lips before opening the door. “Until we meet again.”

I wave goodbye and set out for the common room, getting ready to say goodbye to a sullen Eddie.  However, by the time I’ve reached the noisy common room, having managed to miss dinner, it appears that, someone has already done the job for me. An excited Poppy bounces up to me and drags me over to the worn leather sofa where everyone is sitting.

“George just told us.” She says.

“Told you what?” I ask.

“That you’re going out on a mission.” She tells me in an awestruck voice.

“Did he really?”

“Will you write to us?” Poppy asks, “And tell us what life’s like out there?”

“Of course.” I say, plastering a fake smile on my face.

“So, I hear that you’re leaving us,” A familiar voice says. I look behind me to see the rat-like countenance of Isla Pocket glaring at me. “We are all quite put out.”

“Are you really?” I say.

“Yes,” She continues, an ugly expression spreading across her unfortunate face. “After all, whilst the rest of us have been here for years, why should little miss perfect get to go on a mission after only a week? What do you have that makes you so much better than the rest of us?”

“I have class and you don’t.” I say turning back to the others. I notice that Scarlett’s smiling slightly. Isla makes an odd gagging sound but quickly decides that, if she attacks me, she will be outnumbered and so she lumbers away, leaving me to face the awestruck face of Poppy.

“No one ever stands up to Isla.” She breathes.

“Yes, I gathered that.” I say, reaching for a crisp.

“She’s going to be green with envy for the next couple of days.” Says Scarlett with relish.

“Green’s not her colour at all.” I observe to the delight of Poppy.

“She won’t talk for days and when she does, she’ll be too upset to say anything of consequence.” Scarlett murmurs dreamily.

“And you’re going to get to meet important people.” Poppy flutters.

“And she won’t be able to eat all the crisps…”

“And you’re going to change the world!”

“And she’ll be too upset to do me any harm in wrestling…”

“Scarlett!” Poppy snaps, “We’ve already established that Isla being annoyed will be enormously beneficial to you but seriously, shut up!”

Scarlett looks slightly affronted but she soon resumes her looking dreamily into the distance and imagining how much pain I will be causing Isla. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who hates the girl.

“So, you’re leaving then?” Eddie asks abruptly.

“Yes, I am.”

“Come with me.”

Without thinking I get up and follow him. I’m curious to see where he’s taking me. He leads the way out of The Cottage, through the rose garden and into a small, walled garden filled with plants. In the corner, there’s an overgrown bench which he sits on, staring at the rose bush next to it.

“We could’ve been great, you know.” He says once I’ve sat down.

“We’re too different to have ever been happy.” I tell him sadly.

“I know but I could’ve changed for you.” He says earnestly.

“No, I wouldn’t want you to change for the world.” I tell him honestly.

“Well, make sure you remember me when you’re waltzing with important people.”

“Of course I will.”

“And I’ll try not to kill Charles.” He promises and I laugh.

“You guys have an odd relationship with your teachers, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he laughs, “I guess we do.”

“I’d better go get some beauty sleep.” I say getting up, “I’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

“What time are you leaving?”

“Too early,” I say making a face. “I’m leaving at six.”

“You’re gonna need as much sleep as you can get then.”

“Why?” I ask, grinning, “Am I not beautiful already?”

He laughs. “Of course you are,” He says, “Now get to bed.”

I laugh and walk out of the garden, leaving him staring at the red roses as though they’ve done him personal harm.

What I did to Eddie was cruel but, I know that, he wouldn’t be happy with me. I’m far too different from him for him to ever care about me. He’s too nice, too safe, steady and predictable. He doesn’t make me catch my breath when I look at him. He makes me laugh, yes, but, to me, he will always be more of a friend than a lover.

I’m the first to go to sleep in the dormitory; everyone else is still hanging out and laughing in the common room. Perhaps, if I ever come back here, they will all be just the same as they are now. Perhaps The Cottage will remain unchanged whilst the world outside of it changes as rapidly as the wind changes direction. It’s a sobering yet reassuring thought; despite everything, things will always go on as normal at the cottage.

I sigh and roll over before falling into my first dreamless sleep since I was ten.