Dark Veil

You appeared in my life

Dishing out such misery

For years I could not comprehend

What was going on

Until I broke down and realized

You have always been a part of my history

And have affected

Almost every person in my family,

We have no choice

But to deal with what we have become

And we'll have to take daily doses

For what all you have done,

Rooms some of us

Have been locked in

Due to thoughts and attempts

I would not wish on my worst enemy,

The dark veil

That covers us

I can only pray that one day

Will be lifted

And far,far away it will sail.

Reviews

[DrD]

This work darkens as it goes and while I don't like phrases like "dishes out" because they are so contemporary and will not endure the ages, the feelings here are intense and obvious. I imagine that was the intent here and being so, I have to say that it achieved its goal. A very interesing work ladened with its confessions and accusations that I still found a good read.

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Such a different write from what I've read...so intense, so full of emotion...good write...

[Tarry Franck]

Thank you

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the use of the words "The dark veil." Gave the poem balance and story. Sometime two people only can give pain and misery. Only peace is a separation. I like the strong ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Tarry Franck]

Thank you for understanding and the kind words.

[quinfinn]

this is one of those writes which invites individual interpretation and does so with a strong guiding force. i was led in my direction to a dark history of my own experience. makes this a rather successful write, don't you think? i do.....

[Tarry Franck]

Thank you very much

[DrD]

Okay, Tarry . . . .

I have put in parenthesis the type of phrases that never read well to me

You appeared in my life
(Dishing out) such misery
For years I could not comprehend
What was (going on)
Until I (broke down) and realized
You have always been a part of my history
And have affected
Almost every person in my family,
We have no choice
But to deal with what we have become
And we'll have to take daily doses
For what all you have done,
Rooms some of us
Have been locked in
Due to thoughts and attempts
I would not wish on my worst enemy,
The dark veil
That covers us
I can only pray that one day
Will be lifted
And far,far away it will sail.

This could be altered to read something like

You appeared in my life
With promises of who we could be
Yet you came with storms and clamor
I could never understand
But you gave to me the truth
That you have always been there
As the nemesis, destroyer
With a family in your destruction

Please remember that this is only me. My opinion is only that. I simply don't like modal phrases in poetry.

[Lover Of Words]

The dark veil
That covers us
I can only pray that one day
Will be lifted
And far,far away it will sail.

This stands out to me the most with time we shall all get though this but we must stand hand and hand