my life

the things you see the things you go through....

Sometimes life isn't what we want sometimes life brings things to the table that can not be changed. I have dwelled on one thing for so long that it tore me apart. I'm confused,sad, and dissapointed.  But you know what i have made it 18 years i can keep going if there's one thing i have learned in 18 years. You have to forgive and foret if not it will stay with you for your lifetime. And it can never be fixed or the table cant be turned because in your mind,heart, and soul will live by that dwell you will never be able to get over it unless you have a want to unless you have the drive and unless you have the heart.

 

                   im not that good but would love comments on what i need to work on ,Talon

Author's Note

im not that good but i would love comment on what i need to work on and what you think i should change
, Talon

Reviews

[Tony]

I think you have a lot on your plate as a young man. I know you do as a matter of fact.This poem shows you are disappointed but not done. I would say you have some adventures ahead, be sure and write it all down. We readers will appreciate it but not as much as you will in twenty years.....
Good to see you here, Son.

[Tony]

Saying what you think is all that is required here.
I would say your writing comes from a peculiar life that has shown you some ridiculously unfair events.
Actually, I think all things can change.
Once a person decides to change them.
Welcome to Writers Cafe, Talon. There is treasure here.
That's a cool name by the way.

[cc9]

if you want people to read your stuff, work on your punctuation. no matter how good the ideas are behind a piece, it is real distracting (and detracting) to fumble through grammar issues. i'm not meaning to rip on you aimlessly; i just think it's that important when you want others reading your stuff.
it's cool to read a piece from an 18-year old regarding life's past, present, and future. if you wanted to flesh it out, you could easily...not sure what you want to disclose, though. thinking about life this way, and reflecting on it, is nice, but your piece is short, man, so it's hard to gauge its impact. glad to have read it, though. good luck!