Shattered

Broken

Breathless, the visions, pulsing, refined,

Choking and gasping. I'm dying.. rewind,

 

Emotions were pulling, our words so unkind,

Tugging but fading, your no longer mine,

 

Seeing. Believing.. no longer combined,,

You stole my damn heart and left me behind....

 

Reviews

[Lilly]

The rhyme here is quite effective for this piece - it has a great flow and reads really well...
A great write, really. And I love the image you included for this poem

[Ashley.M.E]

Short and to the point. A nice poem with great meaning.

[chillz]

omg! AMAZING WRITE!!!!!! great flow (applauding)

[Michael of Gilead]

Hey! bring that back!....but it never happens like that

[kurrupted]

kurrupted-(awestruck, stood up applauding) "excellent piece"
double thumbs up!

[Frifthor (D^2)]

An excellent short piece, well put together. I'm happy with the rhymes, nothing that makes it cliche or repetitive, and you fit a good amount of emotion into those words. Excellent work.

[Maurice]

Good things do come in small packages.

[Geralyn Miller]

Short, sweet, and to the point; a damn fine piece of writing. You should enter this in the broken heart contest in the soul in a jar group. Best I have read!

[Red Brick Keshner]

Post this as an mp3 audio file! It reads so good and in its hearing is its experience and power.

[Richard Williams]

A succinct and direct poem in which your feelings resonate.