Thoughts of Vengfull Cheating

A man attempting to cheat on the woman he loves, out of vengence, but he cannot.

I'm tempted, I'm lying,

To you this is surprising,

A woman with such beauty,

No way he's comprimising,

 

I tell you, I failed you,

I want to, but won't do,

anything inside the words,

That I had once told you,

 

I'm sorry, not really,

the emotion had no feeling,

Every single moment here,

i think it unfullfilling,

 

Why do it? persue it?

Or even think into it?

Just to get my mind away-

From everyday that my wife had put me through it..

 

Reviews

[Awdures]

These things we do sometimes don't need explination. The rhyme scheme is good in this one but the rhythm is off in places for free verse. I rather enjoyed the thought of the narrator and the stream of consciousness behind the thought.

[A.Lee]

I like this. Sometimes you want to do things out of anger, for revenge, but you can't. And you shouldn't. I love the train of thought, and as always you have excellent rhythm.

cheating. is harsh.

[kurrupted]

hmmm! cheating?
"homicide's a must,
and ama curse when i burst,
no trust when i thrust,...............the man in the poem is a b****" i aint gonna cheat but its game over bro.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Nice work.

[Sara Mercury]

Yes, this does sound a bit like a rap, and nicely done - but 'comprimising' should be compromising, yes? As for vengeance, it's like a wise man once said, 'Vengeance never brings redemption.'

[Bard Constantine]

Nicely done... I enjoyed the staccato rhythmn to the words... definitely a rat tat tat bounce in the reading. Great expressions, wonderfully written. One small thing: 'persue' should be 'pursue'. Good work, keep writing...

[Nina Kari]

I like this, when I read it I sorta got the rap feel. and the feel of his emotions too, idk if Im putting that right but either way I like it :D

[HorrorMaster]

Very good I like it.

[Emily Quinn]

We try to ease the pain within ourselves by inflicting pain to the very person who caused ours. Vengance. But sometimes vengance isn't enough to lower yourself to their level. I liked this poem, great job