The Mourning After

The taste of metal, no the taste of iron,

The angels crying, the deadly siren,

 

My head is pounding, my body broken,

The smell of vomit, or so I'm hoping,

 

My eyes are closed, should I look?

The last I saw, was hell mistook,

 

I fear the sound, and fear the pain,

But curiosity is a deadly game,

 

With glinted stares, I look with hopes,

And see my dreams, transform to jokes,

 

On earth my suffering was not enough,

Now I wait alone in limbo, stuck,

 

My ending was everything but a disaster,

But now I'm stuck here mourning, in the life that's after.

 

Reviews

[Charles]

Nice poem about entering the hereafter. The meter is very tight at first, but falls apart a bit in the last couple of lines/stanzas. I like what you did with the rhyming - very loose in some places - shows some polish as a poet. Good work.

[Bard Constantine]

Very solid exploration of the idea of purgatory. I enjoyed the rhyme scheme, it was near perfect (the last two lines appear to be slightly off, no bid deal though). Great job overall...

[HorrorMaster]

Amazing poem

[Wake Up!]

Wicked write. I love how it rolls of the tongue. It is pleasant to read, and flows smoothly but the poem itself is raw with emotion and filled to the brim with nails. Wonderful(:

[Maurice]

Very well written. Profound message.

[dovetailer]

Half of poetry is having something to say...
The other half is saying it...
You have it all....
I liked this a lot

[Dream Weaver]

Awesome RTB, I see you're back with a vengence, great stuff!

[♥SunkissAngel♥]

Wow this is deep i love it...

~SK

[Brad]

whoah, this could definitely be shouted into the face of an obtuse audience

[Kes]

Ouch. Nice one.