The Mourning After

The taste of metal, no the taste of iron,

The angels crying, the deadly siren,

 

My head is pounding, my body broken,

The smell of vomit, or so I'm hoping,

 

My eyes are closed, should I look?

The last I saw, was hell mistook,

 

I fear the sound, and fear the pain,

But curiosity is a deadly game,

 

With glinted stares, I look with hopes,

And see my dreams, transform to jokes,

 

On earth my suffering was not enough,

Now I wait alone in limbo, stuck,

 

My ending was everything but a disaster,

But now I'm stuck here mourning, in the life that's after.

 

Reviews

[Lourisa]

Excellent write and great use of imagery. Awesome!

[Aggie Skeleton]

Very sensory detailed, i enjoyed it though,

I sensed everything! I felt a bit reading this. You've made your words come alive. :)

[Emily Quinn]

Great expression of your views of life after death. Simple rhyme which made it very easy to read. It's obviously a tragic way to be- stuck in your created limbo and you portrayed the despair very well

[Mauricio Montoya]

sounds like the day after a night on the town.
Excellent write.

[Richard Williams]

A unique approach with vividness. Imaginative imagery.

[Ruth]

Wow! Now this has a different slant to life after!
Melancholy but cleverly thought through love!
Sometimes we forget that the comforts this side are what makes us unaware of the other side you know!
Great work, wonderful power to this :)
xx

[Bette]

well done wonderful play on words, and the flow is smooth.

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem. In limbo is just a step away from hell and a long way from heaven. A powerful and strong poem. No weakness just a dark story with a very good ending. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[RheaB]

A dream-like quality with an edge. Very interesting. It has a hook.