Thirst

My lips are parched can't control the taste,

The paste on my tungue, from faminal waste,

By God's dearest grace, he'll release me from this place,

Dying slowly from the thirst I came to face,

My visions I chase, for the moment and place,

But giving this pace, I will find no trace,

Seeing nothing but massive lost space,

Giving in on this day i lay down and erase..

Reviews

[Searching 4 Serenity]

Seems like you know how to say a lot by saying so little.

[Morning Star]

Stunning piece of spoken words
sometimes we thirst for something,we don see
and is already in front of us
Love how your words captured raw emotions
Love the flow and rhyming
Excellent very unique

Wow! Brilliant short poem. :)

[HorrorMaster]

Amazing poem

[Frifthor (D^2)]

Excellent piece, excellent rhyming. Gives a great sense of the feeling of thirsty.

[Marie Harrison]

To me this poem seems to be about a thirst for life. Wanting more. Fabulous job.

[A Girl in Love]

I like the flow of the poem!

[Liza]

this expression dripped with smooth and smart rhymes
i know it is not always easy to do; to form something with lines and sounds
while making sense

[RonnieBreight]

I really like the rhymind in this. I also like how he gives in and erases. It makes me wonder if he's erasing the good part of himself or the bad. It's very interesting. Good job. :).

[ForTheWorld]

i love the rhyming..really love the rhyming, actually it is one of the best rhyming of poem I had ever read...