Suicide

Clenching the divine in the palm of my hand,

Release is my options no room to expand,

 

Digging in deep for this vigorous trial,

Only to come back with a vicious denial,

 

Glistening once but now ominous my eyes,

Plainly just darkness no splits or divides,

 

My emotion now simple to others it spreads,

Gave one last look in the mirror and blew off my head..

 

Reviews

[Revolved]

This is amazing. Perfect description of the suicidal moment. Wonderful poetry. You really captured the moment :)

[nono]

Okay suicide...I read a poem with the same tittle but yours is completely different from the other one but I'm going to say the same thing that i said about the other one i read....

Suicide....Thought....Thinking....Not processing...... :D just you gotta remember your reasons you still want to live, what you'll miss. The cons and pros if you will. I promise you you'll have more reasons for living than dying...For example: Knowing what living is, because no one knows what dying is...Even if the ideas don't come to you right away they will...Very nice, my mom took me to a counselor cause i said I've thought about suicide, but i didn't mean it like that...I met the thought came, but I never actually thought about it...I mean I didn't think of ways or anything...You get what I mean?

[Kes]

Eeek! Great stuff! If incredibly scary and very sad... But yeah, great!
The abrupt ending made me laugh, somewhat hysterically. Not because it's funny, but because it surprised me and unnerved me. I laugh when i don't know how else to react.

[A.Lee]

I really liked the last stanza in this. Him realizing that his emotions are now going to spread to everyone around him, its like he's rethinking it for a split second or kind of saying a silent good bye as he looks in the mirror for the last time. Nice write.

[Nancy S.]

Wasn't anticipating the abrupt ending despite the title which covered all the possibilities. I'd say that giving this, still being able to surprise the reader is a big plus. Good meter and rhyme. Question, did you mean 'devides' or 'divides'.

[al25]

Wow! This is the best rhyming poem I have read. Because usually when people create rhyming poems some of the lines are just added for the sake of the rhyme but here everything flowed well and was meaningful. Great job.

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

Great Write, it really rips the heart away from your soul. The mirror was a very smart touch. One look at the mirror, as if to confirm if he really wanted to end his life and yes, he did.

Great work.

[DamienHino]

poetry at it's best "Plainly just darkness no splits or devides," really liked this line
"Gave one last look in the mirror and blew off my head.." and I like this because the mirror is like a symbol of him reflecting on his life and hisself before he ended his life. good job