Suicide

Clenching the divine in the palm of my hand,

Release is my options no room to expand,

 

Digging in deep for this vigorous trial,

Only to come back with a vicious denial,

 

Glistening once but now ominous my eyes,

Plainly just darkness no splits or divides,

 

My emotion now simple to others it spreads,

Gave one last look in the mirror and blew off my head..

 

Reviews

[KaySea]

very uh.....
descriptive
i loved it

[Radioactive]

Painful, but exceptionally beautiful. Short and captivating.

[Fallacy Pharmacy]

You described the pain and the turmoil of emotions that happen in the head before committing it so realistically its daunting (in a good way). A gorgeous poem, well done.

[Robin]

important subject , dark place the abyss , well written

[Natalie]

Very deep, sad and emtional. Great wite, the last line really got me. It was my fav.

[Gracie-San]

This is a great poem. Having wanted to commit suicide myself, you've captured the pure rawness of the feeling and the emotion. You do have a few spelling errors that Sara Mercury has already pointed out, but I suggest you fix the line "Glistening once but now ominous my eyes." I think if you get rid of the my, it makes it flow a bit better. Anyways, great job!

[Maurice]

Frightening and sad, but very well written.

[Bridget Mcmaken]

Wonderful work! This pome is really good, you have good description in it. ^_^

[Sara Mercury]

devine should be "divine"; vigerous should be "vigorous"; devides should be "divides".
options should be "option"

I would have put a semicolon after "option".

Also some kind of a pause between "darkness" and "no splits ...".

Another pause between "simple" and "to others ..."

Clearly a poem recited by someone from their own hell, who couldn't face the outcome of his trial. Ouch. If anyone thinks that suicide gets you out of a bad situation, they're so wrong. It will only put you into a situation far worse than you thought you were running from. In the end, we all must face up to our own life lessons. If not here, then over THERE. Either way up, you cannot run from yourself.

[Brad]

oh shyte, i think this be my fave from you yet, boyo!