R.I.P

The pierce of the bullet, the sound I regret,

The stain of his blood, the mark god's repent,

 

I will not forgive him he takes them so young,

My best friends pain at the end of the gun,

 

He cries and he moans, he tells me his hurt,

I wipe away the tear, the blood mixed with dirt,

 

My heart is now strangled, my soul tore to shreds,

Calling out for help for my undeserving friend,

 

I did this to my pal and I deserved the shot,

Instead he was taken from the greed that I sought,

 

 

What was the cause, why did it end in sorrow,

I see it drain from his eyes, his life, now god's to borrow

Author's Note

R.I.P J.P this is contraversal to the family so i am no longer allowed to show the info :(

Reviews

[Numb]

That was a beautiful, heart-wrenching poem. It's dreadful... only ten years of age. Such heartfelt words, truth pangs through them. Excellent writing, though.

~N~

[dovetailer]

no debt so heavy as one paid with the life of a friend...
no lesson more wasted than one that's unlearned...
powerful stuff...

[Liza]

bitter sweet emotion of someone's loss and appreciation for the life that once existed

[Marlena]

Very emotional. Good work expressing yourself, just clean up the few typos and it'll be great.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

sorrowful~ poignant and heartbreaking poem~ with death there is no take backs~wow~ only ten years old~very sad~

[Revolved]

This is a sweet poem. Though it's sad it's just sweet how you dedicated this to one of your friends, and I am sorry for the lost. Wonderful poem.

[Jason Galliger]

This is a very interesting piece, i especially like the last stanza. I'm a little confused as to who you meant when you said "he takes them so young" were you referring to death or God, or to someone else entirely?

[deeps]

What was the cause, why did it end in sorrow,
I see it drain from his eyes, his life, now god's to borrow

This line is touching really, Sorry about the loss