R.I.P

The pierce of the bullet, the sound I regret,

The stain of his blood, the mark god's repent,

 

I will not forgive him he takes them so young,

My best friends pain at the end of the gun,

 

He cries and he moans, he tells me his hurt,

I wipe away the tear, the blood mixed with dirt,

 

My heart is now strangled, my soul tore to shreds,

Calling out for help for my undeserving friend,

 

I did this to my pal and I deserved the shot,

Instead he was taken from the greed that I sought,

 

 

What was the cause, why did it end in sorrow,

I see it drain from his eyes, his life, now god's to borrow

Author's Note

R.I.P J.P this is contraversal to the family so i am no longer allowed to show the info :(

Reviews

[heich]

this is a sad poem..my heart ached after reading..good job..

[Shin]

This one is filled with sorrow and pain, I can feel it from just reading it, great job on this one, keep it up.

[Onyx_Rayne]

The regret and pain is apparent in each word written here.

As always, your flow and imagery are perfect...your writing has some of the best flow that I've read.

I am sorry for the loss I can feel in this piece... there are really no words to offer true comfort when a tragedy such as this occurs....my condolences.

The write is beautiful, the emotion is raw, it's a magnificent write - thank you for sharing.

[Nina Kari]

The sorrow is very appernt in this poem. I think a lot of people feel what this person feels in stanza five. This truly is a fantastic poem. Great work :)

[Martina]

wow...
I could felt the high emotions within each stanza. I hope your friend will find happiness in the heavens above.
well written

[Love Is Dead]

beautiful poem.I love the anxious tone i heard when i was reading this poem silently.
but it would be sad if this was really based on someone you really loved.
it was emotional and sad.

[.]

"My heart is now strangled, my soul tore to shreds,
Calling out for help for my undeserving friend,"

great write my friend...
love the free flowing
rhyme scheme--awesome poetry!!!

james:-)

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This poem speaks of a tragedy tracked by tears. I am sorry for the loss, but your homage is beautifully writ ... "now God's to borrow."

Linda Marie

[KaySea]

amazing. nice going

[Liz-z]

So sad, I'm sorry to read this is based on somebody.... Beautiful poem though, really amazing. Very well written, so amazing that you could even write about this. Wonderful, really just a wonderful poem!
Favorite lines:
"I did this to my pal and I deserve the shot,
Instead he was taken from the greed that I sought,"
So sad, that you blame yourself, and the true is, you're suffering so much more than he is... You're living with regrets and this tragic death while he's in a better place.
"His life, now god's to borrow"
Beautiful! I love it, fantastic poetry.