The Last Breath

The taste, misplaced, not one for me to waste,

The glory the grace, no need to be defaced,

Its time, our prime, a gift of all mankind,

The fear of whats near, not mine to decline,

No wait! my fate, something none should take,

But still, the deal, left me no appeal,

Your hope, uncloaked, please do not revoke,

Restate, untaint, my emotions left as blank,

Regret, respect, hope god is then whats next,

The line, declines, the flat is near its time,

I pray, please stay,

Your tears touch my skin as my last breath slips away........

Reviews

[Joshua Donahue]

such emotion! nice word scheme though.

[J.S. Pua]

good rhyming and rhythm..
again, good job..

[Marianne]

Love the brisk pace, the urgency, the questionmarks within the journey to understand the purpose of life before it is too late....well, that's what I take away.
My favorite line "Your tears touch my skin as my last breath slips away......." touches me deeply !!

Awesome :)

[Khaaki]

its very rhythmic... ur choice of words is very good.... tc

[kurrupted]

KURRUPTED (STOOPD UP APPLAUDING AND SAID)- "Wow this piece is awesome, the rhyming really put that magnificent touch to it...something that could really go with some rap beats...some real Dr Dre beats"
not my last breath but it indeed took my breath away....nice job, well penned

[Jason Galliger]

Very well written, you express the motions very clearly, and i enjoy the form of this as well. I look forward to more

[deeps]

WOW this is powerful and emotions very well expressed.

[Leah Everett]

wow. i love it.
i'd pick my favourite part, but the whole thing was brilliant.
well done (: xx

[Princy]

Indeed intense!
This is par excellence!