Blind Rage

The anger is seeping to the core of my soul,

No weakness subsiding my hatred unfolds,

Fist clenching teeth grinding the pain you deserve,

Your breathing annoyance heart stopping preffered,

My manner of speaking now slurring my thoughts,

Divding in essence the direction i've sought,

You tested my purpose and took to your own,

Taking my moment giving back as unknown,

I'm losing my focus my visions unclear,

The temptation is breaking to a point of impure,

I take it no longer my grief holds to hate,

I lose all control and decline to my fate........

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

"I take it no longer my grief holds to hate,
I lose all control and decline to my fate"

Epic ending. The first few lines can be trimmed or it's just me O.o

Good work. Keep writing.

[Liza]

loved how you let this rage take over you
sometimes rage makes me go numb
you've expressed this so eloquently
i love the visciousness :)
but i'm sure we all can agree
we don't favor feeling this intensity

[Iota]

At least with this rage he still was able to think, other rages just act first and think later. You demonstrated the anger very clear and the battle inside trying to control or warning the other to watch out your about to exlode. Good write.

[Nina Kari]

I agree with Cattie completly. It has a great visual and again great flow. You can relate to their feelings a little.

[A.Lee]

Wow... I'm really glad I'm not the one on the other side of your anger. This has so much tension and anxiety behind it. Its like the reader's standing right in front of you watching the anger on your face and trying to figure out if they should run or try and apologize profusely. Nice.