S.T.Y.D.

So summer does end with old friends forgetting

The sheets and stains and houses for spitting

When hair loses color and fingers lose life

One tooth rots there, two teeth is a knife

Three days stop and three days go

Traffic means nothing when you're buried in bones

Little boy, count to four and cherish it all

For you too will be left beneath the shopping mall

 

Reviews

[Safrina]

i realllly like this :) x

[The Wave]

nice.
interesting way to describe time and age.
its a very unique writing style you have here. very cool.

overall, it was written well. And its not one of those short poems easy to forget.
good job.

[D. Pesek]

The first thing that really stands out to me is the line about teeth. Someone with a rotting tooth, usually is either a kid or an elderly adult. The same goes for two teeth, usually only a small child would have two teeth, or an adult with only two left. With the concept of age in mind;

I interpreted summer to be a metaphor for life. Summer always seems to go by quickly, and so does life. Possibly this poem is from the point of an elderly person reflecting on their life. That being the case, the hair losing color and fingers losing life goes right along. As for the traffic, I have heard older people say the smaller isssues in life just don't mean as much as time goes on.

The small boy counting to four, and then the reference to the shopping mall, I would assume is another reference to time going by quickly and how much things can change in that short time.

A wonderful read as always. I love when a piece gets me thinking.